Women and money: tips for a healthier relationship

In recent years, we have witnessed a revolution in women’s empowerment. Yet, beliefs about money persist and hinder progress. We explain more about this issue.
The theme of women and money is something that has been repeated throughout history. In the last century, great advances have been made towards achieving economic independence for women, but there are cultural beliefs that seek to undermine this progress.

Women have fought to make their way into spaces that were traditionally reserved for men, such as the economy. We cannot take steps backwards in this regard. Therefore, we invite you to delve deeper into the mandates that exist around women and finance.

A little historical context

Not many years ago, women’s tasks were limited to the home and childcare. Men, on the other hand, were responsible for providing for the family financially.

In the middle of the last century, in the context of the World Wars, women began to take on jobs that had previously been reserved for men. However, their working conditions were so precarious that they were unable to be independent from their husbands.

Intergenerational inherited mandates

In this social and historical context, prejudices arose about why women should not have free access to money. The aim is to maintain the patriarchy . We are going to give some examples in order to point out these prejudices and, little by little, to stop them being assumed as something natural.

  • Every woman likes to buy clothes and shoes without control.
  • Man is the one who knows best what should be purchased for the home.
  • Older ladies have an addiction to bingo and gambling.
  • Women do not have the necessary knowledge to undertake , manage and invest.
  • When making a major expense (house, car, vacation, etc.) it is best to consult your husband’s opinion.
  • Managerial and leadership positions at work should be reserved for men, because they are more determined.
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The psychological relationship between women and money

The historical setting described greatly influences a woman’s relationship with money. Even if she is not aware of it, beliefs permeate and provoke emotional reactions.

The most common one is guilt . Many women still feel guilty for earning large amounts of money from their work, or for earning more than a man. Moreover, this emotion does not only appear in the earnings, it also extends to expenses. It is common for them to spend their own income on someone else rather than on themselves.

In this regard, an article published in the magazine Estudios Políticos points out that while women are usually responsible for paying for everyday things, it is men who decide what the money is spent on.

As a result of feelings of guilt and shame, behavioural patterns of avoidance, obsession or concealment appear. For example, avoiding talking about the subject with people around you, developing a greedy and hoarding attitude, or spending in secret. In short, these are negative emotions and behaviours that have their origin in how you perceive money.

Tips for maintaining a healthier relationship with money

Developing a healthy money relationship is possible; it is a goal that everyone should achieve. In today’s world, money has a great weight in our physical and psychological well-being . Therefore, the strategy to adopt is not to avoid it, but to learn to manage it correctly. Below we will see some simple tricks that you can practice.

Break with established beliefs

The roles established between gender and money are cultural. They have nothing to do with biology or personality. Keeping this in mind, and questioning other types of approaches, helps to situate oneself and banish what generates unpleasant emotions, such as guilt or shame.

Fill your life with other non-material things

While it is true that money allows us to live comfortably, we should not base everything on it. There are many things that we can enjoy for free. A walk in the park or a meeting with someone we love are just examples of small daily activities that bring happiness and do not depend on money.

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Learn to identify and regulate negative emotional states

Often, purchases are made to regulate negative emotions such as boredom. Using your financial resources as a tool for emotional regulation is incompatible with establishing a healthy relationship. Learn to breathe, distract yourself or express your emotions, and you will avoid spending on things you do not need.

Talk about it naturally

Avoiding this topic out of fear of the other person’s reaction is common among women. However, this strategy only serves to maintain discomfort and dysfunctional behavior.

Our advice is to talk about money naturally , without giving too many details or excuses. Especially with your partner, since they are the person with whom you share the most intimacy.

You set the limits

Your finances represent private property. It is something that you have achieved through your own personal effort or that has been granted to you by a power of attorney, such as an inheritance. This is why you should set limits and not let others do it for you.  If you allow this, they will be taking over your decision-making capacity.

A healthy relationship with money will give you freedom

In today’s world, too much importance is given to material things, to the detriment of the spiritual. This goes hand in hand with the way people relate to money, and women in particular.

If we want to move forward as a society, we need to banish beliefs about women and money that perpetuate gender stereotypes . This requires changes at an individual level. And if you follow the advice shared here, it will be easier for you to reduce conflicts  and not become more dependent than necessary.