Learn what resilience is? What are resilient people like?

We’ve all been through tough times. Some people bounce back more easily because they’re resilient, but others never find their way out. If you want to learn more about resilience, keep reading!

How do people cope with difficult situations? What is it that allows us to adapt to traumatic experiences, such as the loss of a loved one, a job, or even being told that we have a serious illness?

Resilience is an extraordinary ability that helps us face life’s challenges. It is the result of adapting to different situations through flexibility and acceptance. Being resilient gives us the necessary resources to emerge stronger from pain.

In this article, we will explore the foundation of this amazing ability and discover what it is, what its seven pillars are, and how to develop it.

What is resilience?

It is the ability to overcome adversity and recompose oneself . The American Psychological Association highlights that resilience is the result of adaptation to difficult moments in life, through mental, emotional and behavioral flexibility.

Being resilient does not exempt people from problems or challenges. Rather, it is a resource for facing misfortunes and overcoming them despite pain, stress, anxiety, sadness and trauma. So, what are the foundations of this amazing ability?

In the book The Resilient Self , Wolin and Wolin present the basis of resilience in subjects who have faced unfortunate situations. These are the seven pillars they managed to identify:

Introspection: This is the ability to understand and think about past events, such as challenges and problems. Introspection helps us understand ourselves and how we have overcome misfortunes.
Independence: is knowing how to draw boundaries between oneself and the world . It also involves maintaining physical and emotional distance, but without leading to maladaptive isolation. It allows the development of identity and autonomy .
Interaction: refers to the ability to form bonds and have intimacy with others. It includes trust in others, assertive communication , meaningful connections and social support.
Initiative: refers to the ability to assume responsibility and take initiatives to achieve goals and overcome adversity.
Creativity: is the ability to design innovative solutions to problems. It encourages the emergence of different alternatives to respond in a more adaptive way to the environment.
Humor : refers to the ability to find the comic side of tragedies . It helps reduce stress and relax some of the tension generated by adversity. It provides relief through the emergence of positive emotions.
Morality: is the ability to commit to the values that are professed. It guides behavior and decisions through the recognition of ethical principles.

These seven components represent the skills that resilient people have developed when they have encountered unfortunate times. These pillars reinforce each other, forming a solid foundation for the practice of resilience.

Factors that influence the development of resilience

A review published in the journal Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience presents different findings regarding the genetic, epigenetic, developmental, psychosocial, and neurochemical factors that contribute to the development of resilience. Let’s look at each one:

Genetic: Some genes and polymorphisms are linked to the development of this quality. These include: dopamine transporter gene, dopamine receptor genes, serotonin transporter gene promoter region, serotonin receptor genes, among others. These factors can influence the response to stress and trauma.
Epigenetic: refers to functional changes in the genome, but without alterations in the DNA sequence . This genetic disturbance is the result of exposure to stress during critical periods of growth. Studies in animals and humans indicate that epigenetics plays a relevant role in reactions to stress and in the appearance of psychiatric disorders.
Development: Traumatic or adverse events in childhood can negatively affect stress response systems, which impacts the development of resilience. That is why early interactions are critical to developing resilient individuals.
Psychosocial: Within these factors we find several elements that intervene in the development of resilience. The most notable are: monitoring, evaluating and replacing negative thoughts, coping strategies, social support, humor, spirituality and prosocial behaviors, such as altruism.
Neurochemicals: Noradrenergic, dopaminergic and serotonergic systems have been shown to be involved in the stress response and, consequently, in resilience. The authors of the cited review state that: “these neurochemicals interact and balance each other to produce regulatory effects on acute and long-lasting adaptations to stress.”

What are resilient people like?

Wolin and Wolin’s seven pillars are useful for understanding what resilient people are like and how they behave in the face of adversity. Below we will give you other traits or signs that stand out in them:

They externalize the thoughts and emotions they experience as a result of a misfortune.
They formulate, review and apply different resolution options to problems.
They know how to ask for help and who to turn to.
They recognize the boundaries between what they are and what they are experiencing. They do not identify with their suffering.
They identify what they need and what they don’t. They are very self-aware and know how to listen to themselves.
They have social networks that nourish their lives and they interact with exemplary people.
They accept what happens to them.
They know how to take time to be quiet and think.
They have good living habits.
They recognize that they do not have all the solutions or all the answers.

These and other qualities enable these individuals to face difficulties with determination and courage. They also enable them to deploy their strengths according to the demands of the environment.

How to foster resilience

There are many ways to enhance this quality in your daily life. Here are some recommendations from the American Psychological Association.

1. Have interpersonal relationships

We have already mentioned that emotional support is one of the most important factors that will help you to be more resilient. Having good relationships with others , accepting the help they offer you, as well as helping others who need it, are attitudes that contribute to motivating acceptance in the face of difficulties.

2. Avoid seeing crises as obstacles

You cannot prevent threatening events from occurring, but you can change the way you interpret and react to them . Viewing problems as challenges to overcome, from a broad and positive perspective, believing that you have the capacity to face them, is essential for resilience.

3. Accept change

To be more resilient, it is necessary to accept transitions and adversity . Accepting emotions and thoughts is key to reducing negative moods associated with stressors. Accept what happens to you, but keep looking for a way out.

4. Move towards goals

Define your goals in life and strive to achieve them. Do those activities and actions that will allow you to achieve your dreams, even if you don’t perceive any change. Don’t focus on what you can’t control or achieve, rather, focus on what is within your control.

5. Take decisive action

Take the initiative in the face of small misfortunes in your daily life , so you will be ready when you have to live through great adversities. Take actions that will mark a before and after regarding the problem. Doing something is better than ignoring what is happening.

6. Look for opportunities to discover yourself

Many times, after overcoming a stressful event or adverse situation, you experience personal growth, learning something new about yourself. In the midst of these moments, look for the lessons you can learn and transform them into an opportunity.

7. Have perspective

Look at things from a broader perspective , even when what you are experiencing is painful. Try to analyze the experience as if you were observing it from a distance, look at your thoughts, emotions and desires. Don’t make the problem bigger.

8. Cultivate a positive vision

Observe yourself in a positive way and create an optimistic self-concept about yourself . Have confidence in your ability to solve problems and trust your instincts.

9. Take care of yourself

Take care of your needs and desires. Enjoy activities that improve your mental and physical health. Exercise, meditate, eat well, get enough sleep, and take walks in nature. These activities will help you reduce stress and increase your well-being.

10. Keep hope

Have a positive and optimistic vision, expect good things to happen to you. Try to imagine what you want and work on making it a reality . Optimism without action is empty. Don’t just stay in fantasies.

Final considerations

Cultivating resilience is not easy and requires time and patience, especially when it is strengthened in the midst of adversity. This ability is, without a doubt, one of the best resources to take into account on the long road of life.

However, it is also necessary to be cautious with it, as warned by an article in Adversity and Resilience Science. In it, the authors question the positive view of resilience and suggest that it can have negative aspects, such as: being maladaptive in contexts where vulnerability and violence are masked, or when effective action to address risk is prevented.

Despite its potential counterproductive effects, resilience is a capacity that brings enormous value to people’s lives, regardless of their ethnicity, age, goals and identity. Have you ever used this attitude in the midst of problems? Did it help you emerge stronger from the situation you were facing?