What is verbal bullying and how to identify it?

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Bullying through words deteriorates well-being, generates depressive or anxiety symptoms and lowers self-esteem. Learn about other effects.
There are many types of bullying, including verbal bullying  . In this type of bullying, the bully does not resort to physical violence. Although the wounds do not leave marks on the body, they do leave marks on the mind.

Those who apply this form of aggression use messages or speeches to harm and humiliate their victim. Words are the main means of attacking. Because of this, in this article we will teach you, among other things, how to detect it, prevent it and deal with it.

What is verbal bullying ?

Among all types of bullying , this is a prolonged and consistent type where another person is intimidated, hurt or bothered by the use of words . Unlike physical bullying , where the aggression is carried out on the other person’s body, in verbal bullying the violent act is carried out on the other person’s mind. It can appear in the following ways:

  • Teasing
  • Nicknames
  • Abuse
  • Threats
  • Defamations
  • Derogatory comments
  • Aggressive text messages
  • Spreading false rumors
  • Offensive phone calls
  • Inappropriate sexual comments
  • Racist or discriminatory comments

Verbal harassment is an act that is not consensual and unwanted by the victim, while it is deliberate by the perpetrator. Under this modality, it can focus on different aspects: religion, ethnicity, race, nationality, age, disability, sex, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, etc. In addition, it occurs in person or through social networks, also known as cyberbullying .

How to detect verbal bullying ?

To identify these acts, it is necessary to analyze their influence or expression on the two main agents of the harassment system: the victim and the perpetrator. On the one hand, the former is observed in this way:

  • Reserved behavior.
  • Aggression or outbursts of rage.
  • Poor performance in their activities.
  • Withdrawal or social distancing.
  • Anxiety, nervousness, state of alert.
  • Sleep disorders, nightmares , insomnia, etc.
  • Fear of going to the context where bullying occurs .
  • Anxiety, lightheadedness, or worry after spending time on your phone.

However, to recognize a verbal harasser, it is necessary to pay attention to the warnings that we proceed to list:

  • He has stalker friends
  • Make up and spread gossip
  • Ignore the victim’s discomfort
  • Humiliates, belittles and ridicules
  • Shows attitudes of superiority
  • Lacks empathy and remorse
  • Evidence of aggressive behavior
  • Spreads shameful secrets of the victim
  • Uses mockery, insults, shouting and threats when speaking

What are the causes of verbal bullying ?

On its StopBullying website , the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services outlines the different factors that help explain why some people bully others. They divide these factors into social, family, and emotional reasons.

Social

  • Fitting into a group
  • Controlling the behavior of others
  • Maintain social power over others
  • Reorganize the group by showing who can or cannot belong to it.

Family

  • Domestic violence
  • Very authoritarian parents
  • Negligent or indulgent caregivers
  • Lack of emotional support from parents

Emotional

  • Insecurity and low self-esteem
  • Lack of emotional intelligence
  • Poor social skills
  • Traumatic experiences of bullying
  • Impulse control deficits

Let’s add that verbal harassment can be motivated by physical characteristics of the victim that do not fit the peer group standard. These qualities include obesity, teeth (color, shape, position), facial features, extreme thinness, height, hair type, fashion, etc.

What are the consequences of verbal bullying ?

One of the consequences of bullying is that it deteriorates the emotional well-being of the person who suffers from it. Harassment, as an inhuman, insensitive and unempathetic act, not only attenuates functioning and development in the area in which it occurs, but also in other contexts of life.

It can lead to feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, insecurity and low self-esteem . Prolonged exposure to humiliation, insults, shouting and threats leaves an emotional mark that is difficult to forget.

Likewise, verbal harassment has an impact on mental health. Some victims may suffer from depression, anxiety problems, post-traumatic stress, sleep disorders, among others.

This form of violence also has repercussions on the social life of the person who suffers it. The victim then isolates himself or herself in order not to feel ashamed or to avoid being exposed to psychological abuse from the harasser. This distancing gives rise to feelings of loneliness, which can negatively impact the emotional stability of the subject and his or her interpersonal relationships.

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The adverse effects of experiencing this type of bullying decrease performance. In addition, it may cause physical discomfort associated with the stress of the situation: headaches, gastrointestinal problems, skin conditions…

How to prevent verbal bullying ?

Prevention is undoubtedly the best way to combat this problem that has so affected young people and adults. From the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), experts recommend the following strategies and intervention programs.

1. Promote family environments that encourage healthy development

When families are nurturing, warm and caring, the risk of violent and bullying behavior is lower. This same positive effect is achieved by the establishment of non-violent disciplinary rules and guidelines by caregivers.

To foster such environments, the CDC (2016) proposes scheduling home visits during early childhood. The goal of this approach is to provide information, support, and training to parents about child health, development, and care.

They also suggest that it is necessary to carry out projects on parenting skills and family relationships. This way, parents will learn to communicate, solve problems, supervise and manage their children’s behavior. The integration of both strategies is key to reducing the risk factors that predispose the appearance of bullying in future stages of development.

2. Provide quality education in the early years of life

Children’s cognitive and socio-emotional abilities and skills improve when they receive high-quality academic training. In addition, they have greater chances of academic success and of forming healthy, secure and stable relationships. All of these benefits of education influence the reduction of behavioral problems and bullying.

The CDC recommends implementing preschool enrichment plans with family integration. When implementing these plans, the family must be involved in education and provided with support when they live in precarious conditions. In this way, it is possible to build an encouraging social and academic future, where children develop in a healthy manner.

3. Strengthen the skills of young people

In order to prevent bullying , it is necessary to strengthen the interpersonal, emotional and behavioral skills of young people. This strategy decreases the perpetuation of violence and improves adaptive coping with conflicts.

When applying it, it is necessary to deploy universal schemes based on socio-emotional learning. Some skills that should be addressed in this plan would be the following: communication and problem solving, empathy, emotional awareness and regulation, conflict management, teamwork.

During the development of these programs, it is essential to provide psychoeducation about bullying . It is essential to transform the narratives that young people have about violence and provide them with spaces to strengthen their interpersonal and emotional skills.

4. Connecting young people with adults

To prevent bullying and other forms of youth violence, it is essential that children have relationships with exemplary adults . By having a positive role model, they will have a frame of reference for knowing how to behave, what to do and what to avoid. In addition, they will be able to set goals and build a life plan, improve their skills and have support networks that guide and accompany them.

CDC professionals suggest that, in order to foster bonds between adults and young people, it is opportune to practice extracurricular activities that protect them from harassment, violence and abuse. Through these plans, they will be able to strengthen their social and academic skills and carry out prosocial tasks.

Mentoring that promotes relationships of help and growth between adults and children is also feasible .

5. Create protective community environments

Social spaces need to be built where adults and young people interact regularly. Current environments also need to be transformed to reshape them and turn them into community spaces. These changes must include political, social and structural changes in high-risk environments. Experts point to three.

First, they recommend modifying the social and physical environment. This includes: increasing lighting, controlling entrances to buildings and public spaces, cleaning the streets, increasing security, cleaning up abandoned buildings or houses and vacant lots, building more green areas and holding community events.

The second would be to reduce exposure to community risks, such as concentrated poverty, residential instability and the expansion of alcohol sales businesses. This preventive approach includes enforcing laws and creating policies for security and social sustainability.

Finally, they suggest designing dynamics to approach young people on the streets and change community norms. In this way, the goal is to connect trained citizens with children, to mediate conflicts and promote norms and relational patterns of non-violence. Likewise, the goal is to connect young people with the community.

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6. Intervene to reduce damage and prevent future risks

Many bullies are victims of violence and have a history of delinquent behavior, aggression, and childhood behavioral problems. Therefore, a prevention plan against verbal bullying is to intervene in these problems before they contribute to the emergence of violence.

The CDC recommends reducing the damage caused by exposure to violence.  To do so, timely intervention at the psychological level is important in order to mitigate the consequences of the acts of which they were the target.

They also recommend treatment to prevent problematic behavior and future involvement in violent acts. The idea is to intervene in the risks and expand support to homes and the community.

It is also important to try to develop social and conflict resolution skills in children. This approach should offer therapeutic services to work on emotional and behavioral problems, family situations and improve communication at home.

Another preventive measure is to foster partnerships between hospitals and the community. The goal is to create connections between the treatment of injuries suffered by young people and community care, in order to prevent risky behaviors that lead to bullying or other violent acts.

What to do about verbal bullying ?

If your child is a victim of verbal harassment at school and you don’t know what to do, these recommendations from UNICEF  will be very helpful:

  • Teach to anticipate: help him identify the signs of verbal harassment and keep his distance from those abusive relationships, where there is no equality or respect.
  • Seek help: To prevent long-term consequences, seek professional help for your child. A psychologist is beneficial in helping him or her recover from the experience.
  • Act when necessary: ​​Once you identify that your child is being bullied, look for solutions that are effective. Contact professionals who can guide you. Don’t waste time.
  • Talking at school: Go to the school and explain your child’s situation. Educational institutions have plans to act against bullying  and are obliged to do so. If you do not receive a response from the school, take legal action.
  • Building trust: It is essential that you make them feel understood and that you do not blame them or hold them responsible for being a victim. Build their trust by providing support and finding solutions in which they are actively involved.
  • Listen to the children: it is a good idea to talk about their day, listen to their feelings and problems . Take an interest in their life without being overwhelming. Creating these spaces for dialogue is an essential part of knowing what is happening to them, letting them vent and finding support in you.

When you are the victim

On the other hand, if you are a victim of this form of violence, it is good that you take into account and, above all, apply the following suggestions:

  • Take care of yourself: do activities that improve your mental and physical health. Play sports, eat healthy, meditate, sleep well, spend time with your friends, enjoy relaxing plans.
  • Report, don’t be silent: don’t remain silent in the face of harassment and report your case to the appropriate authorities: school administrators, teachers, police, human resources, etc.
  • Turn to your network: vent to a trusted person who you know will help you. At these times, a network that can advise you and make you feel safe, calm and less stressed is key.
  • Set boundaries: Set boundaries for the bully so that they know where you stand. Make it clear to the person what consequences you will apply if they continue with their behavior, for example: “If you insult me ​​again, I will report what you are doing to my teacher.” If the bullying continues, walk away from the bully and get help.

Don’t hesitate to ask for support

Using words to harass someone is a problem that negatively impacts the mental health of many young people and adults. Fortunately, in this article, you have learned that the best strategy to combat it is prevention.

This means working on personal skills and abilities from an early age, promoting educational changes, encouraging psychosocial support for families and implementing policies that generate positive transformations at the community level. Don’t feel alone; facing the problem will be easier if you have help. Ask for it without hesitation.