By These preferences are not limited to the sexual realm. Rather, they are psychological tendencies that influence the way someone relates to themselves and others. Let’s explore the topic through everyday examples.
Sadism and masochism share some aspects, but their crucial difference lies in the goal of each case. While the masochistic person focuses on seeking pleasure through his own suffering, the sadistic person finds satisfaction in causing pain to others.
The particular characteristics of these individuals make their relationships more complex than usual, which contributes to emotional dependence and general discomfort. Let’s investigate this.
Understanding the concepts
Although they are often associated with sexual activities, these psychological preferences extend to other areas of life, such as the emotional one. It is well known how such inclinations influence the dynamics of interpersonal relationships , both in couples and in other types of friendships or work relationships.
Before delving into the manifestation of these psychological profiles in everyday life and their impact on relationships, it is essential to accurately define and differentiate the terms sadism, masochism and sadomasochism.
Sadism
This is a psychological tendency in which a person derives pleasure from causing pain, suffering, or humiliation to someone else. The term comes from the name of Marquis de Sade , an 18th-century French writer and playwright known for his works on violence and sexuality.
Masochism
It is a psychological predisposition in which a person finds pleasure or gratification in receiving pain, humiliation or suffering. In this case, the concept has its roots in the name of the Austrian author Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, who explored themes of domination and submission in his literary works.
Sadomasochism
As its name suggests, sadomasochism combines both tendencies. In the sexual aspect, it refers to the type of practices where one person assumes a dominant role and the other a submissive role. They can be interchangeable and manifest themselves in different forms and degrees.
What is the difference between masochism and sadism?
In general terms, the main difference between masochism and sadism lies in the motivations and orientations towards pain. As we have already said, while a sadistic person derives pleasure from causing pain, a masochist finds it from being the recipient of it.
Now, what drives each person to these behaviors? The sadistic person would cause pain as a way of asserting his superiority or in search of a feeling of power and control.
In the case of masochism, low self-esteem is often associated with the motivations behind seeking suffering, internalized guilt, or the need for punishment.
Psychological profile of the sadistic person
A sadistic person derives satisfaction from dominating others, often with little or no empathy and a penchant for emotional manipulation in their relationships. They may display a pattern of behavior that includes controlling, intimidating, or blackmailing to get their desires or needs met.
Similarly, they have an exaggerated view of themselves and seek the admiration and attention of others through their dominant behavior. However, it is not unusual for them to hide a fragile self-esteem that they try to compensate for, despite their apparent confidence.
On the sexual level, causing physical or emotional suffering to your partner causes arousal. It is essential to clarify that, as long as both parties agree and there are no risks, there is nothing problematic about this practice.
But if these tendencies no longer reflect sexual role-playing games , but rather a form of violence, we would speak of a paraphilia , such as sexual sadism disorder. In this scenario, the person acts against the will of the other or experiences significant discomfort or deterioration in various vital areas.
Psychological profile of the masochistic person
A masochist usually actively seeks out situations that cause discomfort or suffering, as they find pleasure in it, as paradoxical as it may sound. It is common to see them involved in emotionally dependent relationships , with dominant or authoritarian partners who reinforce their sense of unworthiness and deserving punishment.
In these relationships, they take on submissive and submissive roles, sacrificing their own desires and needs to please the other. For example, someone with masochistic tendencies might allow their partner to make decisions for them about personal matters, such as choosing activities or managing finances, thereby giving up their autonomy.
They often have self-esteem issues, feeling unworthy of love and respect. Instead of preferring healthy ways to improve their self-concept, they are individuals who tend to get caught up in a self-destructive cycle where suffering is a way of strengthening those negative beliefs about themselves. Self-sabotage is common in this profile.
In the sexual sphere, it is common for people to become aroused by feeling vulnerable and denigrated, as they are inclined to humiliation as a form of satisfaction. Like sexual sadism disorder, sexual masochism disorder is only considered a paraphilia when the practices, desires or fantasies interfere negatively and significantly with the person’s daily life.
How do the differences between masochism and sadism look like in everyday life examples ?
The following examples illustrate how, despite their differences, both sadism and masochism can manifest themselves in different aspects of life. They represent ways in which people can seek pleasure through their own or others’ pain.
Couple relationships
- Sadism: A person who humiliates, denigrates and even hits his or her partner, and feels pleasure in doing so.
- Masochism: Someone who remains in an abusive relationship where they are exposed to emotional or physical abuse on a continuous basis.
Work environment
- Sadism: A boss who enjoys treating his team members in a humiliating, contemptuous and aggressive manner.
- Masochism: An employee who not only does not set limits when being exploited and mistreated in his or her workplace, but finds a certain satisfaction in it.
Social interactions
- Sadism: An individual who makes hurtful comments to others in social gatherings, and takes pleasure in seeing the discomfort or upset they cause.
- Masochism: A person who ridicules himself in front of others. He sacrifices his own dignity in order to gain acceptance or recognition.
Destruction as a common point
In both tendencies, the dynamics of power, submission and pleasure are intertwined with the idea of disintegration and aggression. Under psychoanalytic theory, both could be related to the concept of the death drive , that intrinsic tendency towards destruction, which is opposed to the life drive .
Masochistic people tend to have self-destructive behaviors. They subject themselves to painful, uncomfortable or degrading situations, which can be interpreted as a form of self-rejection or psychological self-annihilation.
Sadism, on the other hand, reflects the external form of destructiveness. The individual turns aggression into a means to achieve perverse pleasure.
Don’t jump to conclusions
In this reading we learned the difference between sadism and masochism from a psychological point of view, with everyday examples to better understand both complex concepts. You may have identified with some of the points mentioned, or you may have recognized them in people around you.
However, it is crucial to remember that you should use this information as a general guide and not as a basis for drawing any definitive conclusions about yourself or anyone else. Sadism and masochism can manifest themselves in different degrees and in unique ways in each person, and only a trained professional can make an accurate diagnosis.