By Accepting your emotions and understanding that it is okay to feel them is the first step to leaving this stage behind. Explore other keys and go through this stage more fully.
Just as people question their achievements in middle age, the dilemma known as a quarter-life crisis often arises between the ages of 20 and 30. This is the conflict experienced by some people in this decade, when anxiety, anguish and frustration color a period that should (according to the canons) be one of self-discovery and success.
What characterizes this process? Does it affect all individuals of this age? And, most importantly, is it possible to avoid it or cope with it without too much discomfort? Let us answer all these questions concisely.
What is a quarter-life crisis?
Although it is not a syndrome or disease, this personal trance, also known as a quarter-century crisis, is a phenomenon described and studied in young people between 20 and 30 years old. As with those who experience a midlife crisis , they express great dissatisfaction with their life achievements and feel apprehension about the future, especially when compared to previous generations, such as baby boomers or generation X.
This period of stress, confusion and anxiety is rooted in uncertainty, fuelled by economic, labour, environmental and geopolitical crises. These are young people who, approaching their third decade of life, are making great efforts to prosper and find their place in the world, but with little or no success.
Added to all this are new pressures, needs and obligations for which, generationally, they were not prepared: social networks, wild productivity, new ways of relating, and so on. These pressures come in new forms and the conception of work and interpersonal relationships have changed, but they did not come with a cultural instruction manual.
What can I do to get through a quarter-life crisis?
The chances of suffering a life crisis increase in a world that promised to be bright and turned out to be ominous. However, in times of need it is also possible to empower oneself and achieve reconciliation with oneself. Let’s look at some tips to achieve this.
1. Accept and validate your emotions
The first step, before implementing any other type of strategy, is to validate yourself. Emotions cannot be controlled and have a very important purpose: to respond to the environment in order to survive.
When the future is tinged with catastrophe and the present is not as we want it to be, it is logical that the most common emotions are anxiety and frustration . You are not weak and you should not hide your discomfort, but embrace it, accept it and let it guide you towards the actions necessary to improve your situation.
2. Analyze your reality and don’t be carried away by prejudices
You’ve probably heard the expressions “crystal generation” and “culture of effort.” Yes, it’s true that we all need to train ourselves to be more resilient and work hard for our dreams, but from a kinder perspective than demands and value judgments.
You know how hard you have worked to achieve your goals . It is important that you do not get carried away by the expectations placed on you and analyze what you can control and what you cannot.
3. Don’t compare yourself to others
It’s easy to fall into comparisons with social media available 24/7 and the weight of expectations from previous generations. The internet is flooded with perfect lives, canonical bodies, toxic positivity and people who claim to feel fulfilled within a system of insane productivity.
One of the actions that favors your mental health is to limit exposure to these messages of social pressure . To overcome the crisis of the 20s, focus on your achievements and on what you want to improve, rewarding yourself every time you meet a goal and constructively criticizing your failures.
4. Pursue your goals in small steps
Another effect of the high expectations placed on millennials and Gen Z is a tendency to fall into grandiosity and immediacy. Of course, you see yourself far from that successful job with a big salary, because there are many small victories and also failures to get to that point.
As a strategy against frustration , write down a goal and the steps necessary to achieve it. Break down these objectives as much as you need to and reinforce yourself every time you cross one of them off. Thus, the example of the dream job will be the warrior’s rest after enjoying the journey to it.
5. Adjust your expectations
Many people who are experiencing a quarter-life crisis today are faced with the disappointment of a series of ideas that made them great: getting a degree to get a great job, owning a house before 30, maintaining a loving relationship for many years, etc.
However, even if it is painful at first, it is pertinent to analyze the present and adjust how far you want to go. There is still a lot of future ahead at 25 years old, but it is better to learn to accept yourself than to beat yourself up all your life for something that is impossible to achieve.
6. Don’t neglect your self-care
Another of the stark realities of the quarter-life crisis is that health is too often sacrificed. The “culture of effort” in which recent generations have been raised dictates that great sacrifices have enormous rewards; but this has now been proven not to be the case.
Although it is difficult in an economic model where labor exploitation and lack of time abound, it is very important to find time for self-care : eating well, exercising, resting during sleep, having conscious leisure time and healthy relationships.
When the future does not bring guarantees of well-being, care in the present will be the insurance to maintain quality of life over the years.
7. Create quality bonds
No one is an island. The cultural belief that an individual can be independent is a fallacy, since we are gregarious animals that contribute to society and drink from it at the same time.
Surround yourself with people who support you and who are worth caring for. Get organized and absorb the benefits of the collective, because the worst thing that can happen to someone who carries a great weight is to do it alone.
8. Embrace your current identity
You won’t be the same person in a year, or maybe even a month. The idea is not to stay static, but to find the core of your identity within the changes you experience. Embrace your hobbies, fight for your ideals, reflect critically and don’t be afraid to change if it makes you better. You will always be you.
9. Seek professional help
All of these tips may not be enough when your mental health is deteriorating. If you have the possibility of having the help of a psychology professional, do not hesitate to go for a consultation, because there you will fully develop these indications and acquire tools to feel better.
Both at the institutional level and in grassroots groups, you can find low-cost or free resources. Find out which ones are available in your area if you cannot afford to pay for a private service.
Consequences of this trance on mental health
People who experience a quarter-life crisis are often victims of their circumstances. Many are unable to move out of their parents’ home or find it impossible to improve their conditions. The lack of job opportunities and, in general, of support from the system, is typical of this generation. And there are several consequences that arise from this context. Here are the most common ones:
- General frustration.
- Personal identity crisis .
- Insecurity about the future.
- Feelings of isolation and loneliness.
- Rethinking friendships and romantic relationships.
- Tendency toward radicalization of ideas of an ideological nature.
- Comparison with other peers (“others are doing better than me”).
- Low self-esteem (“I’m not good enough to achieve my goals”).
- Difficulties adapting to post-study life and the job market.
Empowering yourself in times of crisis
Anxiety disorders have a prevalence of 35-40% in men and 60-80% in women, when we talk about people aged 20 to 30. This pandemic, which affects disadvantaged groups in particular, has also sparked a wave of resistance to the oppression of the current times.
The culture of individualism, endless consumerism and social pressure have tried to isolate individuals, making them forget that the collective produces results greater than the sum of its parts. Therefore, in the context of this age crisis, do not hesitate to associate with other people, to help and ask for help, because it is no longer time for heroes, but for tribes.