Learn to identify psychological harassment

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Are you constantly being jeered, defamed, paraded, humiliated, stalked and insulted? You may be being harassed. Here are some other signs.

Psychological harassment can occur in the family, at work, at school, in the neighborhood, or on social media. Regardless of the context, it is an experience that negatively affects people’s well-being.

To identify it, it is necessary to be aware of the mood, the behavior of others, and the physical and psychological discomfort that this situation generates. To this end, in this article, we will explain the ways to recognize it, its causes, consequences, and how to deal with it.

What is psychological harassment?

Before specifying this form of harassment, it is crucial to conceptualize a key term that is part of its definition: psychological abuse . In his book  Psychological Abuse (2018), José Luis de Rivera understands it as a harmful interaction on an emotional level in which some of the following behaviors occur:

  • Insults, threats, ridicule, humiliation, rejection, persecution, stalking.
  • Provocation of unpleasant feelings, such as fear, sadness, worry, insecurity and confusion.
  • Sabotage of activities or tasks, disruption of mental dynamics, overload with unrealistic demands or expectations.

When this type of abuse is continuous, repetitive, intense, deliberate and occurs in a situation that is difficult to avoid, it is called psychological harassment. It can occur between individuals or between groups, such as families and organizations.

According to Rivera (2018): “Psychological harassment is the persistent and intentional maintenance of patterns of psychological abuse, which take place in an unfair and excessive manner, without the possibility of escape or defense, favored or permitted by the environment in which it takes place, and whose ultimate purpose is to eliminate the harassed person or destroy their health and abilities.”

How to identify psychological harassment?

Recognizing it can be a challenge, because it does not have a physical manifestation. However, it is possible to identify psychological harassment through the signs it leaves on the social, emotional and behavioral levels. Below, we present some tips to help you distinguish it.

Examine your mood

Emotions are a reflection of the way you experience the world and your interpersonal relationships. Pay attention to them because they help identify bullying. If you feel anxious, depressed, restless, lonely and stressed, you could be the victim of a psychological stalker.

Observe the behavior of others

Conduct is the main way in which the harasser expresses himself . Among the behaviors that stand out we find intimidation, control, disqualifications, criticism, insults. He also resorts to mockery, spreading gossip, threats and similar.

You have feelings of loneliness

Bullying causes feelings of rejection and exclusion from your peer group or colleagues. As a result, you feel lonely, isolated and rootless. In addition, if you are afraid of being with someone or a group of people, you may be a victim.

You experience physical discomfort

While it is true that this harassment does not cause direct damage to the body, it can have secondary effects on it. Some physical manifestations are headaches, muscle aches or tension; digestive and cardiac problems, due to prolonged stress; insomnia.

What are the types of psychological harassment?

Being psychologically bullied manifests itself in different ways, relationships and contexts. Based on all this, we can classify it into the following categories.

1. Gaslighting​

Gaslighting    is a type of psychological abuse that involves manipulating the victim into doubting their experiences, perceptions, and interpretations of events. It is a way of making the other person believe that they are “crazy.” To detect it, observe these behaviors in the bully:

  • Blame the other person.
  • He denies that he said or did anything.
  • He lies to confuse the victim.
  • Creates confusion and doubt in the mind of its victim.
  • Invalidates and discredits the emotions and interpretations of others.

2. Sexual harassment

This is a set of behaviors and attitudes of a sexual nature that cause discomfort, annoyance or humiliation. It can be used for sexual purposes or to intimidate, attack or offend. According to the United Nations (UN), sexual harassment is expressed in the acts mentioned below:

  • Boos
  • Request for sexual favors
  • Sexually suggestive glances
  • Sexual comments about the body
  • Stalking or display of sexual organs

3. Mobbing or workplace harassment

Mobbing occurs when a person or group harasses, intimidates or affects another person in the workplace.  It is a pattern in which the victim is dragged into a position of helplessness and powerlessness. To identify it, pay attention to these signs :

  • Shouting, insulting and threatening.
  • Making the worker feel stupid.
  • Criticizing the employee’s private life.
  • Talking badly about the person behind his or her back.
  • To make up and spread rumors or gossip.
  • Attack political and religious beliefs.
  • Assigning degrading and meaningless tasks.
  • Avoid talking to the worker and looking at him with disgusting expressions.
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4. Institutional harassment

For José Luis de Rivera, this harassment occurs when a group persecutes, insults or psychologically pressures one or more members with the complicity of the rest who accept this dynamic as necessary for the internal stability of the team. Harassment allows the group to maintain its unity, identity and control.

These are actions that protect corrupt and decadent organizations. Some signs to identify them are listed below:

  • Persecution.
  • Group complicity.
  • Threats, humiliation and harassment.
  • Institutional protection through repetitive psychological abuse.
  • Seeking to maintain the corrupt status quo of the institution.

5. Bullying

Bullying is a repeated and deliberate pattern of aggressive or hurtful behavior at school, directed at less powerful people. It can take the form of physical and psychological abuse. Regarding the latter, it is expressed as follows:

  • Insults, mockery and shouting
  • Threats and intimidation
  • Manipulation and blackmail
  • Humiliation and ridicule

6. Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is a set of behaviors through which an individual, group or organization uses Information and Communications Technologies (ICT) to harass someone. The Government Delegation for Gender Violence of the Ministry of Equality of Spain presents the following behaviors as part of cyberbullying :

  • Threats and false accusations.
  • Using private information to blackmail the victim.
  • Identity theft, usurpation of personal data.
  • Damage to the victim’s computer, monitoring of the victim’s activities.

7. Real estate harassment

In this case, a person is harassed so that he or she does not enjoy the home he or she is in. The harasser disturbs the tranquility of the inhabitant of the house or apartment and creates an unfavorable environment. Among the main signs of this persecution are:

  • Damage to private property.
  • Invasion of tenant’s privacy.
  • Spreading gossip about the inhabitant of the house.
  • Loud noises that disturb the serenity of the harassed person.
  • Derogatory or intimidating comments about the person being bullied.

Causes of psychological harassment

According to José Luis de Rivera (2018), in addition to the environment, there are factors associated with this type of attack and they are related to the harasser and the harassed. Let’s look at each one.

Factors that depend on the stalker

The personality of the stalker has a major influence on the occurrence of the act. These people tend to be narcissistic and paranoid, thus convincing themselves of their stalking activities.

  • Control: They are controlling individuals. Through manipulation and coercion, they try to exert control over their victims.
  • Mediocrity: Bullies often do not seek excellence and do not encourage it in others. For this reason, they never acknowledge the successes of others.
  • Envy: For the bully, the bullied person is his enemy, someone he envies because he perceives that he has superior qualities. The suffering of others is a source of enjoyment for him.

Factors that depend on the harassed person

The following factors are not direct causes of bullying, but rather qualities of the victim that the bully uses to mistreat him or her.

  • Active emotional dependence: the desire for approval, the fear of rejection , the need for validation and security can make the dependent person accept and normalize the attack in order to preserve the relationship they have with the stalker.
  • Authenticity: This trait becomes a risk factor, because the bully may perceive it as a threat to his need for control. Furthermore, when faced with authenticity, the perpetrator would exert greater pressure to dominate his victim.
  • Psychological innocence: The innocent person may overlook the intentions of others, which causes him or her to underestimate the maliciousness, negative attitudes and behaviors of the bully, thus making it easier for the bully to continue his or her persistent abuse.

What are the consequences of being psychologically harassed?

The after-effects of this harassment tend to affect the affected person’s daily functioning and interpersonal relationships. These types of experiences deteriorate emotional well-being and quality of life, manifesting in consequences such as those we will detail below.

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Anxiety

Victims of bullying feel  constant nervousness, fear, worry, uneasiness, danger and weakness. They also have a faster heart rate and breathing, increased sweating and trembling. They suffer from a lot of anxiety.

Depression

Being bullied can lead to hopelessness, a feeling of emptiness, despair, feelings of guilt and worthlessness, prolonged sadness, frustration, lack of energy. All of this leads to depression .

Chronic stress

The constant attacks, humiliation, insults and threats cause the victim to feel stressed most of the time. This effect significantly deteriorates the quality of life, causing fatigue, stomach ailments, sleep disorders, muscle pain, etc.

Low self-esteem

When someone is psychologically abused, their self-confidence and self-love are undermined. Low self-esteem is expressed in indecision, insecurity, pessimism, feelings of inferiority, and negative self-talk.

Irritability

For some people who are bullied, it is normal to have explosive episodes of anger or spend part of their time in an irritable state. The constant pressure they receive from the bully(ies) can negatively affect their ability to regulate their emotions and stay calm.

Suicidal ideation

One of the most devastating effects of this abuse is that the person contemplates taking his or her own life. In some cases, the victim may commit suicide or self-harm.

Interpersonal problems

Because bullying undermines self-esteem, the person has serious problems relating to others. He or she may have difficulty trusting or opening up about his or her emotions.  His or her mood swings and depressive states create unhealthy interaction patterns that undermine the quality of interpersonal relationships.

How to deal with psychological harassment?

The best way to deal with this problem is to seek legal and psychological help. There are many professionals trained to guide you in these cases. With their guidance you will have a solid foundation when facing such an experience. Below, we leave you with some general advice.

Recognize bullying

To get out of this problem you have to first identify it and accept that you are a victim of it. Second, you have to accept the emotions it generates and try to regulate them in a healthy way. Lastly, take action in favor of your mental health.

Set limits

Make it clear to the harasser that his or her actions are unacceptable to you and that you will not tolerate them. Also, warn him or her that you will take serious action if his or her behavior occurs again, such as reporting the incident or seeking legal help. Firmness and assertiveness are necessary when setting boundaries.

Avoid guilt

Accept that you are not responsible for humiliation, abuse, threats, insults and other forms of harassment. You are the victim. Therefore, you are not guilty of what happens to you.

Prioritize your needs and your health

Try to meet your emotional needs before others persist in their attempts to harass you. Take care of your mental and physical health : eat healthy, exercise, get enough sleep, spend time with your loved ones, etc.

Have a support network

Turn to your friends or family for help. Talk to them and express what you are going through and feeling. The company of these people can give you strength and reduce stress a little. Feeling the support of significant people will be a great support.

Seek professional help

Seek the help of a psychologist to learn how to deal with your emotions and process the experience you have had. Also, seek legal advice in case you decide to take legal action.

Don’t stop fighting for yourself

Persistent psychological abuse has far-reaching effects on the mental health of those bullied. Some people become depressed, anxious or guilty, while others develop sleep disorders and digestive or somatic problems.

To deal with it, it is essential to identify it. One way to recognize harassment is to be alert to the signs that we share here. Fortunately, those who are victims of stalkers have the possibility of receiving psychological and legal assistance; this is a way to fight and get out of it.