What is migratory grief and how to handle it

Nostalgia, guilt, anxiety, a sense of loss… Emigrating to another country is often accompanied by a grieving process that can risk becoming chronic. We explain more about this below.
If there is one experience that the brain processes with great suffering, it is loss, separation, leaving what is familiar. All of this explains why migratory grief is one of the most complex psychological processes that a person goes through, hence the importance of knowing what it is and how we should handle it.

Having to leave your country to start from scratch in another setting brings with it a very high social and emotional cost. It is also a multifaceted phenomenon that affects each individual differently, including children.

Anxiety, identity crisis and trauma are clinical realities that often appear among this group. Having a good support network and adequate community and psychological assistance is key to managing this challenging dimension. Let’s delve deeper into this situation.

What is migration grief?

Migration grief or Ulysses syndrome  is an emotional process that one goes through when leaving one’s own country in search of a better future. Likewise, those who leave their home and culture due to war , violence or persecution also deal with this psychological condition. It should be noted that there is no unique type of grief and that each individual experiences it in a different way.

Melancholy, sadness, guilt, fear and somatization are common in these cases. Such an experience always requires elaboration to assimilate the new and relocate what was left behind. Although most people successfully overcome this experience, there are those who, after a year, continue to suffer without making progress, leading to what is defined as chronic grief .

What are the main associated symptoms?

As described in Frontiers in Psychiatry , migration is an experience marked by material, interpersonal and emotional losses. All of this can lead to pathological states that science is trying to clarify. It is clear that we are facing a social phenomenon that will increase much more in the coming years and that should be understood.

Social crises, economic inequalities and conflicts revolve around the need to migrate. Experiencing grief when leaving one’s country of origin is, in fact, a normal and understandable experience. The most important thing is to address the symptoms to ensure that it does not become chronic and reach debilitating limits. Below, we describe these characteristics.

Feeling of “loss”

Research published in the Indian Journal of Psychiatry indicates that migration is a process that involves complex realities such as family separations, housing problems, difficulties in obtaining health care, work problems, discrimination… Part of grief is expressed with a persistent feeling of lack and loss. Some examples are:

  • Interpersonal:  sadness, anguish and nostalgia when leaving behind family, friends, significant others and even pets.
  • Materials: Every migrant who travels to another country leaves behind material goods to which he feels attached. These can be objects and property.
  • Abstracts: We refer to those things that cannot be touched, but that define you as a person, such as status, training or achievements in your country of origin.

Emotional experiences

Despite the harshness of a whole range of sensations, it should be noted that these are normal processes inherent to the challenge being faced. Your brain and nervous system must cope with this change and, until they get used to it, you will experience a wide range of emotions. We describe them for you:

  • Gonna
  • Blame
  • Fear
  • Loneliness
  • Sadness
  • Distress
  • Nostalgia
  • Anxiety
  • Frustration
  • Uncertainty

Psychosomatic experiences

When emotions overwhelm you or stress becomes chronic over time, your body suffers. A high level of cortisol, for example, would have effects on your body. Take note of how these psychosomatic processes usually manifest themselves:

  • Headaches.
  • Insomnia .
  • Hypertension.
  • Gastrointestinal problems.
  • Musculoskeletal pain.
  • Weaker immune system.
  • Changes in menstruation.
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Manifestations associated with chronic grief

In the book Trauma and Resilience Among Displaced Populations A study is presented on the link between trauma and migration. A reflection that, it can be deduced, has to do with the fact that many migrants bring with them numerous emotional wounds. There are those who already deal with a traumatic process from their country of origin.  This undoubtedly aggravates the migratory grief itself and makes it more difficult.

There are multiple factors that lead to chronic grief, such as already having a mental health problem, lacking coping strategies or lacking social support around you. It is pertinent to be sensitive to certain associated symptoms to know if you should seek professional help. We are talking about the following symptoms:

  • Hopelessness.
  • Suicidal ideation.
  • Desire for solitude.
  • Persistent sadness.
  • Sleep disturbances.
  • Negative thoughts.
  • Changes in diet.
  • Trouble concentrating.
  • Difficulty getting work done.
  • Persistent longing for the country of origin.

Stages of grief when migrating

Human beings are accustomed to grieving. These are not exceptional experiences, since losses, deaths or breakups are frequent events in our social and biological baggage. This means that, in general, a good part of these processes are overcome in a healthy way. Only a small percentage of the time do they end up crystallizing in a pathological way.

Thus, in mourning for leaving one’s country of origin, it is common to go through phases similar to those established by psychiatrist Kübler Ross around death. Despite this, it should be noted that such stages are not always linear and that each person experiences them in a unique way. Let’s delve deeper into these.

  • Denial and loneliness:  Arriving in a new country tends to be a big shock. Expectations that were held often differ from reality and, for a while, you may go through a few weeks or months without fully coming to terms with what is happening to you. You may also feel the need for isolation and solitude.
  • Anger and frustration: cultural differences, bureaucratic obstacles, loss of status, work challenges… All this amalgam of feelings often turns into anger, rage at what surrounds you.
  • Negotiation: Little by little you will try to integrate, you will seek to build a balance between taking care of your roots and adapting to that country and its particularities. It is a stage of great mental and emotional effort.
  • Depression: There are people who end up in a state of helplessness and hopelessness . It is possible that the hardness of the adaptation process, of assuming new roles, customs and daily difficulties to be addressed, lead to depressive symptoms.
  • Acceptance and restructuring: although there is no stipulated time for the duration of the migratory grieving process, including how to handle it, it is estimated that adaptation and reconstruction of that new “I” integrated into the country of arrival should be achieved throughout the first year.

Which groups are usually most affected?

All grief affects identity, especially that which has to do with migration. In this context, refugees , for ethnic or war reasons, are the ones who suffer the most from the effects of this condition. They bear the weight of the adversities they have experienced, the losses and the anguish of not knowing whether they will be able to return to their country of origin.

Similarly, another sector that always requires special attention is children. Children and Youth Services Review  highlights that unaccompanied migrant girls are one of the most vulnerable groups. Their age and gender increase the risk factors. It is to be expected that the grieving process will be much more complicated for them as they are alone and neglected.

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Strategies for managing grief when leaving your home country

Pauline Goss, a professor of family social sciences at the University of Minnesota, wrote the book Ambiguous Loss: Learning to Live with Undetermined Grief (2021). In this work, she provides a revealing fact: migratory grief that is not addressed is passed on to the next generations.

Growing up in a family environment dominated by longing and frustration has an impact on children. So, we already know what migratory grief is, but it is crucial to know how to handle it, in order to heal this dimension. Below we detail some strategies to achieve this.

Accept and validate your emotions

Grief is a normal process that arises from circumstances of loss. These experiences hurt, cause anxiety, generate fear, anger… The first step to go through them is to make room for all your feelings and emotions. Accept them, validate each sensation without repressing it or camouflaging it with other behaviors.

Seek support and connection

Avoid loneliness and isolation. People need social connection and, when dealing with grief, it is essential to share what you feel with someone who understands you. It will help you to do so with compatriots who have lived the same experience, with empathetic figures who know how to listen to you and be there for you when you need it.

Create new routines

Establishing a new routine at your destination will give you greater stability and a sense of control. Don’t hesitate to spend time on activities you already did in your home country. This will give you a sense of continuity and connection. New habits can also help distract your mind from negative thoughts and provide you with structure.

Establish contacts with your country of origin

Video calls, WhatsApp, social media and technology in general are undoubted allies to bring those who are far away closer together.  That daily contact, that positive interaction and knowing that the people you love are close by will give you strength and motivation. Dedicate time to them and you will have that dose of emotional support that is so necessary at all times.

Get involved in the local community

In order to gradually mitigate the grief of migration, it is essential to develop your sense of belonging. Participating in community activities, volunteering or joining groups with similar interests to yours in that new country helps. You will be able to create new social ties and, over time, reduce the weight of nostalgia and feel more integrated.

Seek professional help

If emotions become overwhelming and affect your well-being, contact a psychologist or social services in your community. There are local agencies that can provide support where you live; professionals specialized in this area will offer you specific strategies and a safe space to feel better.

Migration is a social reality that needs more attention

Grief due to displacement from one’s country of origin is a rather complex emotional experience. Each person brings with them their own circumstances. Some people leave their home for economic reasons, others for social reasons, war, etc. Whatever the case, we are facing a phenomenon that will increase much more in the coming years.

As a society, we must prepare ourselves to address the dimensions of this sphere. Being sensitive to the mental health of those who wish to or are forced to migrate requires knowing how to respond to grieving processes. If you are experiencing this reality now, give it the importance it deserves and rely on those around you; ask for help if you need it.