By Even if your face or body shape doesn’t fit conventional beauty ideals, you can still be a very attractive person. Learn to enhance your personal charm regardless of your appearance.
If you feel like you don’t stand out for your physical appearance, you should know that true attraction encompasses much more than that. Also, although they are often used as interchangeable words, there is a difference between being good-looking and being attractive.
In this article, we discuss the key distinctions between these qualities and give you tips on how to become a more attractive person.
What does it mean to be handsome or attractive?
Someone who is handsome stands out for their beauty and physical appearance. This term is used to describe people with a hegemonic body and appearance: one that matches the social standards of beauty, according to each culture.
In Eastern countries, it is common to consider a person with clear, smooth skin, big eyes and a slim figure to be pretty. Meanwhile, in the West, a person with a symmetrical face, a slim or athletic build and light eyes is considered beautiful.
On the other hand, an attractive person has a series of personal and/or physical features that tend to arouse interest and pleasure in others. For example, the way they speak, their body language and their character.
Main differences between being handsome and being attractive
Both qualities can coexist. We’re not going to deny it, being in the privileged group of those who are handsome and attractive at the same time is a fantastic thing. But not all of us are so lucky. Without further ado, let’s get to know the elements that make the difference between being handsome and attractive.
1. Notable criterion
The main difference between handsome and attractive lies in the focus of attention. Being handsome means having a pleasing physical appearance according to cultural criteria, but being attractive implies more.
Attraction encompasses a combination of personal aspects, where charisma and attitude play an important role. Someone who exudes confidence in their way of walking, is friendly and has spontaneous and natural gestures, can be attractive regardless of whether their body meets the canons of beauty.
2. Degree of depth
While physical beauty is highly valued by some people, we cannot ignore that it is something superficial. This is why there are those who attract us in a physical and/or sexual sense , but if we do not like their personality, we rarely achieve an emotional connection with them.
On the other hand, the attraction that goes beyond appearance is deeper. In these cases, what seduces us is how the person is inside; the way they treat us, their values, their way of seeing the world and acting in it.
3. Level of subjectivity
Another difference between good-looking and attractive is that the perception of the former is influenced by cultural standards of beauty, which makes it tend to be more objective. This means that, although there is always a certain amount of subjectivity, the idea of good-looking is largely determined by external and shared criteria within a specific culture.
Attraction, on the other hand, is often more subjective. For example, one person might be attracted to someone who has a similar sense of humor to them, while another person might be more attracted to someone who has empathy and sensitivity.
4. Temporality
As we age, our bodies change. Wrinkles appear, skin loses firmness, and weight fluctuates. Some people resort to beauty treatments and cosmetic surgery to counteract these changes. According to cultural criteria, beauty seems to be exclusive to youth. So, it is also temporary and fleeting.
However, character and attitude tend to last longer. So maybe a 60- or 70-year-old person seems just as attractive or more attractive than before. This is because, even though the body changes, personality traits have the potential to grow and strengthen over the years.
5. Level of authenticity
Social pressure to conform to beauty standards leads us to want to be what others want us to be. We often adopt appearances that are not our own. We may dress according to trends, straighten our hair, or wear our beards in a certain way to fit in.
Furthermore, attraction is related to authenticity . Attractive people are more true to their own style, showing sincerity and confidence in who they are. In turn, this reflects a congruence between what they project outward and what they feel inside.
6. Impact on relationships
Add to the difference between being good-looking and being attractive the impact on interpersonal relationships. Being good-looking may give social advantages, opening some doors based on first impressions and superficiality. But here’s the challenge: if there is no connection beyond the external, those relationships run the risk of remaining superficial.
Instead, having an attractive personality would lead to stronger and more genuine connections. People who are attracted to who you are, beyond how you look, will be more open to connecting with you from a deeper place.
How to be more attractive? (be it handsome or not)
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being good-looking, or aspiring to be. However, if your genes don’t fit with the beauty ideals imposed by society, that’s not a bad thing either. It’s good to take care of your appearance and make all the changes you want to feel comfortable with what the mirror reflects.
But remember that attraction is not limited to physicality. The good news? It is always possible to work on being more attractive. Sometimes, small changes are enough. We share some points backed by scientific studies.
1. Take care of your attitude
Being optimistic and having a sense of humor may make you more attractive. This means laughing at yourself and showing your kindness, empathy, and self-confidence. But it’s not just about believing in yourself, it’s also about being authentic and showing yourself as you are. In addition, a study found that values such as honesty, respect, and loyalty attract .
2. Pay attention to your body language
You don’t just talk with your mouth; your body communicates from head to toe. Research suggests that an expansive body posture (with an open chest and head up) is attractive. Avoid crossing your arms, as this can project a barrier or lack of openness. Genuine smiles and eye contact are also key.
3. Improve your social skills
The ability to relate and communicate effectively is another key factor. Practice active listening, assertiveness, and empathy. Interesting and meaningful conversations, where both people share and listen, are essential to establishing a true emotional connection.
4. Cultivate your passions and pursue personal goals
People who radiate enthusiasm and know what they want in life are the most seductive. Surely you have ever been captivated by someone who spoke passionately about what moves them. Showing that life does not pass you by makes you much more attractive in the eyes of others, as well as enriching you as a person.
5. Take care of your appearance and hygiene
Appearance isn’t everything, but it does matter. An interesting fact is that women tend to be more attracted to hygiene and personal care, while men focus more on physical beauty . However, remember that the goal is not to adhere to unrealistic standards , but to present yourself in a way that makes you feel comfortable and confident.
Beyond the facade
As an analogy, physical beauty could be compared to the façade of a house. It is the first thing that draws attention, what immediately captures our gaze. But what really defines the quality of a home is what is inside, the energy it transmits, the comfort and the connection between the people who live there.
Similarly, true attraction goes beyond the first physical impression. What really captivates us and makes us want to stay with a person is how they make us feel.