By Have you ever wondered what motivates a child to be violent towards his parents? Although it is a phenomenon still under study, we want to give you some clues.
There are children who are violent towards their parents, that is, they commit aggressions within the framework of what is known as “child-to-parent violence” (FPV). This concept encompasses aggressive behaviours of a son or daughter, often in adolescence, towards their parents or primary caregivers. Therefore, it can be said that CPV is the antithesis of child abuse.
This situation has become more evident in recent years, which is why it has become a topic that needs to be discussed. For example, there is research that suggests that the phenomenon of VFP can be a one-off behaviour or an aggressive form of relationship between children and their caregivers.
Similarly, attempts have been made to determine the main causes that lead to this scenario. This allows aspects such as the psychological variables of the children or the educational styles developed by the parents to be put on the table. Continue reading and discover more about the violence of some children towards their parents.
How is child-parent violence defined?
According to a study by the University of Jaén , this concept suggests that these are acts in which children intend to cause physical, psychological or economic harm to their parents, seeking to gain control and power over them.
However, since violence towards parents is an emerging behavior, that is, it has not been studied for a long time, there are some discrepancies regarding its definition. To clarify the matter, we offer other definitions provided by a publication of the Argentine Journal of Behavioral Sciences :
- It is a form of aggression that occurs in the context of relationships between the adolescent, his father and his mother.
- It is a type of abuse in which the roles and hierarchy of power are upset (from children to parents).
- It is an aggressive way of relating to parents, who are victims and, consequently, suffer intensely.
- It is a behavior that emerges from a context of arguments between parents and children, who seek more money, more access to the Internet or special privileges (such as coming home late at night).
Some manifestations
An article in The Spanish Journal of Psychology indicates that this type of violence usually manifests itself in the following ways:
- At a psychological level: threats, blackmail, insults, intimidation, shouting or humiliation.
- At the economic level: theft of money or belongings from parents or contracting debts in their name.
- At a behavioral level: pushing, kicking, hitting or other displays of violence towards parents.
Although these events may be isolated, they usually occur regularly and frequently within the family. In addition, it should be noted that these behaviors cause emotional problems, shame and suffering in caregivers, who tend to feel threatened, controlled and intimidated by their own children (Calvete et al ., 2004).
Why are there children who are violent with their parents?
Experts have proposed some variables in adolescents themselves (on a behavioral and personality level) that could explain the behavior of children who are violent towards their parents. Below, we offer the most important ones.
Psychological variables of the violent adolescent
Behavioural disorders, such as intermittent explosive disorder or conduct disorder, are a unique characteristic of children who are violent towards their parents. In this regard, it is pointed out that impulsiveness could play a key role, because it makes it difficult for these young people to control and regulate their own emotions.
Some research suggests this association between impulsivity and violence towards parents, in which anger would be, in many cases, the element that triggers outbursts of anger and violence (Cano-Lozano, et al. , 2023).
In the field of physical violence, it is found that aggressive acts could be assumed as forms of defense against parents who, in turn, exercise violence against the mother. Thus, violence could be understood as a survival strategy whose objective is the release of tension (García Aranda & Cerezo Domínguez, 2017).
Parenting style
The Journal of Family Violence indicates in a publication that inadequate parental discipline is a risk factor for violent behavior in children. More specifically, it highlights that permissive and indulgent parenting styles are those that contribute most to this situation.
In this sense, children may also have deficits when it comes to developing healthy social relationships, given their tendency to fail to comply with precepts and rules. This scenario often leads them to be very irritable and hostile.
Education is the vaccine against violence.
~ Edward James Olmos ~
Drug use
Although there is still insufficient data on this subject, since substance use is related to violence in general, several of the investigations reviewed in this article found that this behavior is a characteristic of some children who are violent towards their parents.
It is therefore a risk factor that must be taken into account, given that it could potentially intensify violence in the family environment.
Low self-esteem
According to a study shared by Anales de Psicología , young aggressors show a tendency to have low self-esteem and difficulties in developing an empathetic attitude towards other minors.
Low self-esteem is therefore also associated with other types of violence, such as that which occurs at school. In addition, these adolescents often report feeling inferior.
Make your home a violence-free environment
One consequence of this phenomenon is that aggression towards parents has the potential to spread to other areas. In other words, these behaviours grow and are transferred to other spheres, such as relationships or friendships. Therefore, it is necessary to find mechanisms that help to resolve this situation.
Therefore, if you experience this type of violence in your home, try to strengthen family relationships by encouraging dialogue and trying to understand the feelings at stake. Also, try to ensure that there is always respectful treatment between the different members of the family unit.
Finally, don’t forget that if the situation gets out of hand, it is possible to seek psychological help to try to create a better family environment. There are different therapies and techniques that, under the supervision of a mental health professional, will help both parents and children express their emotions and resolve their differences. Don’t rule them out.