By Heartbreak is one of the most painful experiences there is when it comes to relationships. However, it is possible to overcome it if you heed these tips.
Is it possible to forget someone who doesn’t love you or, at least, speed up the recovery process? The truth is yes, but you must be very clear about the steps to do it in a healthy way. Unrequited love is hard, because we cannot control our emotions and stop feeling something for that person at will.
What you can do is work on acceptance and changing your habits, which will make your emotional memory and your daily life become positive again without that person. Here we give you the guidelines you need.
How to forget someone you love and they don’t love you back?
It could be an ex, an unrequited romantic interest, or even a friend or family member. If you love someone and they don’t reciprocate, you go through grieving. While this is natural and dissipates over time, it’s important to take a moment to avoid the emotional wounds and negative impact on your mental health when you’re rejected . Let’s look at a series of steps that help you do this.
1. Accept rejection
It’s not easy to accept that someone doesn’t love you. However, getting stuck in denial has negative effects: it will lead you to think that you are not enough, to strive for something impossible or to have vain hopes.
Therefore, the first step to quickly forget someone is to accept that they no longer love you. It will hurt, but trust that the discomfort will end. Relationships come and go and do not always work out the way we want, so the only way to heal is to let go of someone who does not want to be by your side. You cannot force them to love you.
Demanding love from others and not respecting their decision to walk away will not only hurt the person you love, but also you.
2. Make changes to your routine
The memories that hurt the most usually have to do with small details: a good morning message, the habit of going out for a walk on Saturdays, a knowing joke… All of this is an emotional memory that assaults you several times a day.
So the best way to leave those memories behind is to introduce new activities and habits into your life. Remember that coffee shop you wanted to visit but your partner didn’t? Go over and have a drink. Pick up an activity you put on hold. Try cooking something different.
All of this will start a new process of creating memories and will focus your attention on positive aspects of your life.
3. Pay attention to your emotions
To get over someone who doesn’t love you, it can’t all be distractions. Emotions will be there, sometimes a little out of control, and you must give them the attention they deserve. Allow yourself to be sad, feel angry, spend a day in bed if you need to.
Once the storm is over, reflect and analyze how you felt and what you thought. From the distance that calm provides, you can identify irrational thoughts and learn from your mistakes. Take advantage of it.
4. If you need to, use zero contact
No contact is a series of measures taken to stay firm and away from the person you just broke up with. It is used to not give in to impulses to get back together or to have adequate time and space to heal.
You have the right to ask for distance and set limits. For zero contact, some possible measures to take are blocking them on social media and on their mobile phone, asking your loved ones not to talk to you about your ex or tell them how you are, or not responding to any attempt to get closer.
Always remember to communicate your decision, otherwise you could hurt others’ feelings and your own. Good communication will help you avoid misunderstandings and confusion.
5. Lean on your social circle
We all need a safe space, where we don’t feel ignored and where we can receive support in difficult times. Also, someone else’s view of your problem, although not always accurate, will help you see some things from the other side.
The most important role of your network of trusted people (right now) is to offer you comfort. They will help you maintain high self-esteem and move through grief in a healthier way.
6. Don’t be in a hurry to get into another relationship
Although the expression “one nail drives out another nail” is very common when it comes to relationships (especially those of a couple), it is not always good advice to follow. If you go out with other people without healing to stop suffering for someone who doesn’t love you, there is a high probability that both of you will suffer.
On the other hand, the fear of being single instills an unconscious idea in your head: that your worth as a person is measured through the love of others. This is an irrational thought, because you are enough and you will always have someone who loves you in your life. Partner or not.
7. Don’t neglect your health
It’s normal to lose your appetite, eat a lot, not sleep, spend the day in bed, not want to see anyone… However, you can’t let these behaviors become routine or your health will suffer. Even if you allow yourself that tub of ice cream, don’t stop eating well the rest of the day. Exercise, take a nap if you need to. Your well-being comes first.
To forget someone who doesn’t love you, also consider professional help
No one grieves the same way as another person. In addition, some relationships are more destructive than others, leaving scars that rarely fade over time. Therefore, the measures you take on your own may not be enough to heal properly.
This is valid and does not make you any less capable than others who recover from their breakup before you. If you feel that this person will not leave your mind, no matter what you do, perhaps it is time to go to a psychologist. In a consultation you will be able to acquire tools to face your grief in a more optimal way, so do not hesitate to add this to your self-care list.