By Do you need to improve communication with your friends? Would you like to create more authentic and trust-based bonds? We propose some techniques that allow you to build strong and satisfying bonds.
Do you want to improve your communication with your friends a little more? It doesn’t matter how many years these people are in your life. There are times when you feel that spontaneity fails and intimacy wears out a little. If you experience this same feeling today, we will tell you that there are valid strategies to recover the magic of complicity.
A first step is to stop texting and meet more in person. Likewise, paying genuine attention and using active and empathetic listening always acts as an anchor that unites hearts and loyalties. Friendship is fueled by trust and respect, so we want to give you some basic guidelines to revitalize these bonds.
“Constant use does not spoil the fabric of friendship.”
~ Dorothy Parker (Complete Narrative, 2003) ~
Learn to improve communication with friends
The world would be a barren place of illusions if friendships did not exist. These emotional figures are not only your allies in life, they also stand as a great daily support and a refuge where you can be yourself. A paper published in Frontiers in Psychology highlights their benefits and points out that, generally, it is women who place more value on these bonds.
Whatever the case, knowing how to communicate is essential to building successful alliances. A friend is more than just a presence that is there to listen to you. They are a person with whom you share similarities, but who also has their own reality and needs. Reciprocity, active listening and problem-solving are cornerstones in this regard. Take note.
1. The “closet” of positive communication
There is a book called Positive communication in health and wellness (2013) by psychologists Margaret J. Pitts and Thomas Socha. In it they describe that the healthiest and most satisfying relationships are built through positive communication. It consists of a set of strategies that should be in your social and personal “closet”. We describe them for you:
- Positive emotions : During your conversations with these special figures, it is advisable to convey a confident, open, optimistic and complicit attitude. This positive behavior always generates a good connection with others.
- Orientation towards openness and well-being : if there is something that lights and nurtures the spark of friendship, it is that respectful language that makes you feel good, that shows interest and that caresses with tone, words and even with non-verbal communication.
- Communicative integrity : This construct is a virtue that manifests itself in the way you behave and speak. To develop good communication with friends, it is necessary to be consistent with what you say and what you do, to use sincerity and not give rise to ambiguities in what you express.
2. The importance of not taking everything for granted
Sometimes, friendships are the same as relationships. After a while, everything is taken for granted, including affection and needs. So, to improve communication with friends, check in with them every day by asking them how they are and how they’ve been. Do it without being intrusive, but showing genuine interest.
Keep in mind that every bond needs constant care. It’s like a plant that withers if it’s not watered. Friendships are strengthened through a friendly and attentive dialogue based on mutual interest.
3. Empathy and active listening
Do your friends notice when you are more worried than usual? Do they notice from your tone of voice, gestures or the way you respond to WhatsApp that something is wrong with you? Good friendships are based on the emotional bridge that empathy builds. An article published in the Journal of Patient Experience describes this dimension as a trigger for prosocial behavior.
Thanks to this, you notice needs, concerns and emotional realities that you need to act on. Likewise, through this empathic resonance, communication is more authentic and, above all, useful. What’s more, to guarantee it, you need to apply good active listening. Being patient and paying attention to others with respect and openness will allow you to better connect with the reality of others.
4. Communicate from intimacy
In a study published in Cultural Sociology, they highlight something interesting. One of the reasons why modern friendship is difficult is because of the reluctance that exists when it comes to creating intimacy. Revealing your emotions or personal experiences to someone is something that can make you uncomfortable. However, doing so builds the strongest and most satisfying bonds.
If you want to improve communication with friends, it is important to use strategies that foster emotional intimacy . This step may be scary for you because you fear betrayal. But sometimes you have to take a leap of faith. The benefits are enriching. Here’s how to achieve it:
- Reveal personal aspects; this is how you generate trust.
- Take an interest in the more intimate details of your friendships.
- When talking about these issues, don’t judge, just listen and validate.
- Intimate communication does not criticize, nor does it give advice to the other.
- Let your friends know that you will always be there when they need you.
To improve communication with friends, you need to be a good listener, build trust, and handle any issues that may cause tension. Sometimes, due to years of relationship, you may forgive them or let go of things that bother you without addressing them. In the long run, this is counterproductive.
5. Yes to “communication stimulators”
To improve communication with friends, you will find “communication boosters” very useful. They consist of using resources to encourage a stimulating, fun and enriching verbal exchange. To do this, you need to meet in person and avoid using your mobile phone. An informal meeting over a coffee is always a good idea.
When you’re together, talk about topics that inspire you or passions that you both share. If you know your friend has a particular interest in a subject, ask them about it to show that you appreciate their interests. Reminisce about magical moments you’ve had together and discuss future plans you want to make together. Positive emotions will resonate instantly.
6. Techniques for resolving conflicts
Nothing is more uncomfortable and stressful than having a problem with a friend. Such an experience hurts and overwhelms. So much so that, in a study published in the Journal of Business and Psychology , they report the serious impact that conflicts at work have between employees who are friends. I’m sure this scenario is familiar to you.
What can be done in these cases? Is there any communication technique that allows us to resolve these disagreements and recover the bond? Indeed, there are. Keep in mind that occasional disagreements and tensions are common phenomena in any relationship. Knowing how to deal with them is a good exercise in emotional and personal management. Check out some tips:
- Identify the problem as a whole without projecting blame.
- Start a calm conversation to understand what happened.
- Express feelings and emotions without resorting to accusations.
- Look for strategies together to solve the problem.
- You have to be willing to compromise on some things.
- It is recommended to be flexible and avoid escalating the conflict.
- Practicing forgiveness is something enriching in any friendship.
- Do some leisure activity to release tension and reconnect.
How to recognize that communication fails?
Do you feel uncomfortable with one of your friends? Do you notice that the dialogue is no longer the same? Do you miss that complicity that once offered you so much calm and well-being? Sometimes, communication becomes deficient and this affects the relationship. It is true that there are several indicators to assess this dynamic, but the following are usually the most distinctive:
- Many misunderstandings arise
- A lack of interest in everyday life appears
- Conversations become superficial
- Communication is increasingly one-sided
- You perceive emotional distance and lack of trust
- You avoid talking about intimate or very personal topics
If you identify with these characteristics, understand that relationships change over time and go through different stages. If you recognize any of these signs, talk to that person openly and honestly about the situation. There are always possibilities to repair the bond.
Emotional communication, the social glue in a friendship
Good friends often communicate through respect and emotional intelligence. Without this life tool, few relationships last or are satisfactory. So try to develop this skill even more and surround yourself with people who know how to combine empathy with assertiveness and good social skills.
A friend is a treasure, no doubt about it, but they are also beautiful gardens that must be cared for with love and daily complicity. Only then will you enjoy that setting rich in psychological nutrients. Remember, also, that this bond must be reciprocal, do not let the weight of caring for the friendship fall only on you. The attention is mutual and sincere.