By This term, although less well-known than “ghosting,” is a type of emotional avoidance that can have a significant impact on the mental health of those who experience it.
In a world where our lives are increasingly intertwined with digital, understanding orbiting is essential. This phenomenon affects our relationships and mental health, generating uncertainty and anxiety. Unlike ghosting, where the person cuts off all communication, orbiting leaves a confusing trail.
Imagine you were talking to someone, things seemed to be going well, and suddenly that person disappears from your life, save for a persistent digital trail. You see their name pop up in your story views and likes on your posts, but never a direct response to your messages. What is the reason for this behavior?
What characterizes orbiting ?
In a nutshell, this is the act of cutting off direct communication while maintaining constant digital surveillance. The orbiter does not respond to messages, calls or emails, but continues to interact indirectly through social platforms.
This behavior creates a ghostly presence, where the person is and is not at the same time, orbiting around your life without being an active part of it.
From a psychological perspective, orbiting can be seen as a form of emotional avoidance and is often associated with narcissistic traits . People with narcissistic tendencies need constant validation and may use this strategy as a way to remain the center of attention in their ex-partner’s life, but without the emotional commitment.
There are several reasons that can lead a person to orbiting , below we list some:
- Blame avoidance: By not cutting off contact, the orbiter can avoid feeling responsible for the breakup.
- Indecision: The person is not sure they want to cut ties completely and leaves the door open to a possible reconciliation.
- Ego maintenance: Receiving indirect attention through social media interactions can boost the orbiter’s self-esteem. In addition, it may be a benching strategy , to manipulate the other person into staying interested.
What is the difference between orbiting and ghosting ?
In the context of digital relationships, both orbiting and ghosting are behaviors that occur when a person ends a relationship suddenly and without explanation. However, it is essential to understand the differences between these two phenomena in order to properly manage them and mitigate their impact.
According to a study published in the academic journal Cyberpsychology , the main difference between the two is that when ghosting, the person disappears completely and stops communicating in any way. In contrast, when orbiting, although the person stops talking to you, they continue to interact through social networks.
Ghosting victims feel rejection, abandonment and confusion due to the complete absence of communication and lack of closure. Orbiting, on the other hand, involves mixed and ambiguous signals of interest through social media, but there is no direct communication; this creates confusion and frustration.
Emotional consequences of this behavior
Being the target of this situation brings with it a series of psychological repercussions that affect the victim’s quality of life; it also unleashes negative feelings and complicates the process of getting over the breakup. Below we detail some of its main emotional consequences.
1. Confusion and ambiguity
This is a form of surveillance that puts the victim in a state of uncertainty. The constant presence of the orbiter on social networks, without speaking directly, can lead the affected person to wonder about their intentions and feelings. This ambiguity turns out to be mentally exhausting and makes it difficult to close the cycle.
According to research from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships , when someone is ghosted or being ghosted, they go through four stages of reaction: surprise and confusion; anger, sadness and guilt; attempts to repair the relationship; and finally, acceptance.
2. Anxiety
Lack of clarity and mixed signals tend to increase anxiety levels in the victim. Knowing that the orbiter is watching their digital activities may make the person feel monitored and under constant pressure. And this can lead to generalized anxiety .
3. Low self-esteem
Due to the lack of communication itself, combined with the constant digital observation, the person may feel bad about themselves or not worthy of an explanation and direct conversation.
4. Difficulty getting over the relationship
The orbiter’s frequent presence in the victim’s digital life slows down the recovery process . Every “like” or view of a story may reopen emotional wounds and prolong the pain of the breakup.
5. Feelings of rejection
Although the orbiter is still present digitally, the lack of direct interaction is felt by the victim as a rejection, and very painful because it is not absolute, but is full of contradictory signals.
Strategies to deal with orbiting
The significant emotional impact of this attitude depends on each case, but there are several strategies that are useful to manage such an experience effectively:
- Seek support: Talk to close friends or trusted family members about what you are experiencing. Expressing your feelings and concerns provides helpful perspectives for managing the situation.
- Prioritize direct communication: If you feel it necessary, communicate with the orbiter to set clear boundaries or express how you feel. This can help you gain clarity and emotional closure.
- Learn from experience: reflect on what you have learned. Identify which aspects of your personal relationships you value most and what warning signs you can recognize in the future to protect your emotional health.
- Encourage self-care: Make time for activities that make you feel good about yourself. Exercise, learn to meditate , pursue hobbies you enjoy, and make sure you maintain a healthy sleep and eating routine.
- Set digital boundaries: Consider blocking, hiding, or unfollowing the orbiter on your social media to reduce exposure to their digital presence. This can help decrease anxiety by not being exposed to their passive interactions.
Protect your emotional well-being
Dealing with your ex orbiting your digital world can be a challenging experience, but it’s important to remember that you’re not walking this path alone.
If any of the strategies suggested here fall short of what you are experiencing, seek professional help. Sometimes, to manage this situation and take care of yourself and your emotions, it is necessary to seek support from a therapist. Remember that your mental health is paramount.