By One of the most common fetishes is partialism. It has to do with the erotic fascination with some area of the body, such as the feet, armpits, beard… But fetishists have more interests. We will explain them to you.
We are increasingly normalizing talking about sex. This means that, at the least expected moment, our coworker or long-time friend tells us about their fascination with leather, velvet, female feet or seeing their male partner dressed up as an animal. Fetishism is more common than we think and less pathological than we believe.
Such behavior falls under the category of “unconventional” sexual practices, but it does not necessarily constitute a clinical disorder. Much of the social stigma surrounding sexuality has a lot to do with a lack of knowledge on the subject. A fetishist is simply someone who finds erotic pleasure in unusual objects, body parts or situations. Let’s delve deeper.
What is fetishism?
This is a form of sexual attraction in which a person obtains erotic gratification or excitement through unusual stimuli. In fact, the question that often arises on this topic is whether it falls within the clinical and pathological realm. The answer to this is “no, not always.”
The 2013 version of the DSM-V depathologized fetishism, differentiating it from fetishistic disorder, a condition in which dysfunctional behaviors and suffering are already evident. An example of this would be if you did not feel attracted to other potential sexual partners, but were only aroused by the sight of the fetishistic stimulus. Let’s now understand what someone with this characteristic is like.
How it manifests
It should be noted that scientific research on this topic is still very limited. In addition, it is common to find works focused exclusively on the psychopathological aspect. However, there is a clear consensus that there are three typologies. As indicated in a publication of the Medical Journal , this form of sexual attraction and arousal can manifest itself as we will discuss below.
Object fetishist
- Definition: Erotic arousal is triggered by the presence, observation, or use of inanimate objects. Some people experience this stimulation by interacting alone with that particular item—stroking, for example, a pair of high heels. Others, however, need their partners to use the object.
- Examples: plastic dolls, shoes, underwear, latex, velvet, plastic fabrics, masks, gloves, stockings, stuffed animals…
- How it is practiced: There are people who enjoy seeing their partner dressed in a uniform, in a certain costume , wearing certain pieces of clothing, perhaps a mask, etc. Others, on the other hand, need to caress or lick the object.
Partialist fetishist
- Definition: In this case, we have someone who shows fascination and desire for a specific part of the human body. That area is a bit far from what is conventional, from what we consider traditionally erotic, from a social and even cultural point of view.
- Examples: one of the most frequent fetishes is the one linked to the feet. However, we can also find those related to hair, armpits, hands, male beard , navel, legs, etc.
- How it’s done: Interaction with the fetishized body part can include touching, looking at, smelling, licking, and fantasizing about it . People often get pleasure from watching, for example, hair moving, touching gloved hands, stroking toes, etc.
Situational fetishist
- Definition: The situational fetishist finds his or her erotic stimulation in a specific environment or circumstance. This typology has many variants, such as having sex in public places. In this case, the idea of being seen or surprised acts as the excitatory component.
- Examples: There are those who have fantasies about specific settings such as school classrooms, medical rooms, sacred or religious places, fields or forests, etc. Others, as we have already pointed out, need the excitement and risk of having intimate encounters in public areas.
- How it is practiced: This type of sex involves the need to constantly repeat the same situation. It will always be the same scenario or specific circumstance, something that can often tire out sexual partners. Sometimes, to recreate these scenarios, such as a high school classroom or a hospital, costumes are used.
Is fetishism the same as paraphilia?
In our society it is very common to dilute concepts and confuse them with certain psychological entities. This happens especially if they are related to sexual practices and desires. In this case, it is important to clarify that fetishism is not exactly the same as a paraphilia . There are small nuances.
Scope
In reality, fetishism is a category or another form of paraphilia. As we have already pointed out, a fetishist is someone who feels sexual attraction towards inanimate objects or non-genital body parts. As defined in the Journal of Sex Research , paraphilia is a type of unusual or “non-normative” sexual behavior.
The latter includes a wide variety of behaviours that are not always related to fetishism. Examples of this are exhibitionism (exposing one’s genitals in public), voyeurism (watching people in intimate situations without their consent) or even masochism (arousal derived from one’s own suffering).
Object of desire
For a fetishist, the object of desire is specific and concrete, such as a type of fabric, inflatable dolls, having sex in sports cars… However, in paraphilias, the object of desire or the situation is more extensive and complex, such as, for example, the classic BDSM dynamics (bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism).
Condition for arousal
In the fetishistic field, the fetishized object or body part is basic and essential to achieve one’s own arousal. However, in paraphilias, the dynamics are more elaborate, such as pleasure when going to very crowded places and rubbing one’s body on a stranger, etc. Furthermore, sometimes, in these erotic games between people with paraphilias, fetish objects are included, such as teddy bears, stockings, etc.
How does a fetishism occur?
In the aforementioned research (Ventriglio, Bhat, Torales, & Bhugra, 2019), carried out at the universities of Foggia (Italy), Asunción (Paraguay) and King’s College London, an attempt was made to elucidate the possible origin of fetishism. It should be noted that, at present, the causes of these sexual inclinations are not clear. There are still many prejudices, but we can outline some ideas.
Behavioral theory
This theory suggests that fetishistic behavior may develop through classical conditioning. If a specific object is repeatedly associated with sexual arousal or orgasm during early sexual experiences, the individual may come to associate that object with his or her own sexuality.
Neurobiological theory
Another speculative theory has to do with the way the brain organizes sensory and sexual experiences. It is possible that there is some alteration in neurotransmitters or genes that favors the perception of certain objects or parts of the body as something exciting. However, we repeat, these are ideas that do not present reliable scientific evidence.
Sociocultural theories
The culture and environment in which a person grows up may influence what is considered erotic or attractive. If a society or subculture fetishizes certain objects or body parts, an individual may internalize those preferences. The same could be true of consumption of a certain type of pornography in childhood or adolescence .
Early experiences
Some theories suggest that early experiences may contribute to the development of a fetish. An event that makes a significant emotional impression may lead to an association between that event and sexual arousal. However, once again, these are assumptions without proven validity.
At what point does this behavior indicate a problem?
At this point, we cannot ignore one idea. Fetishistic behavior is just another way of understanding, living and expressing sexuality; in a respectful and consensual way, it is a dynamic as healthy as any other. However, it is inevitable that you wonder at what point this can become pathological.
There are a number of indicators to understand if you are crossing this complex limit , which, above all, causes psychological discomfort. They correspond to the DSM-V and to the paraphilic disorder and are the following:
- Duration: Fetishistic thoughts, fantasies, or behaviors must be persistent and recurrent for at least six months.
- Fixation: There are already clear difficulties in becoming aroused and finding pleasure without the presence of the object or situation linked to the fetish.
- Social and relational discomfort: you experience wear and tear in your relationship as your partner feels dissatisfied or excluded. This also impacts your work and various areas of your daily life.
- Compulsion: The fetishistic behavior has become almost an obsession. You have trouble thinking about other things, but you know that this dynamic is not functional and that your life is deteriorating. At the same time, shame, guilt and loneliness eat away at you and weigh heavily on your mind.
- Danger to yourself or others: In some cases, fetishistic inclinations can lead to dangerous, unethical or even illegal behaviour. This is something that should never be avoided, and if you think you might fall into this tendency, do not hesitate to seek specialist help.
Fetishism, an exercise in self-knowledge
You won’t be surprised to learn that many people use their fetish to improve their sex life as a couple. Honest communication and expressing your erotic fantasies and desires to the other person can act as a wonderful relational incentive. However, in order for that to happen, it is good to know yourself, to leave space for your desires to understand and express them.
There is nothing pathological or dysfunctional about fetishists. Many of them are normal people with full lives. Always keep in mind that it is not easy to control what awakens your desire, but you can regulate your behavior. That is where your ability to enjoy your fetish stimuli in a healthy and consensual way lies.