By Whether at work, at home or at university, knowing how to negotiate an argument is crucial. Discover psychological strategies to come out on top in any discussion, as well as anticipate your opponent’s counterarguments.
Have you ever found yourself at a loss for words in the middle of a heated conversation? Have you ever found clever ways to respond, but it’s already too late? I’m sure you have. There are some basic psychological tricks to winning an argument, such as maintaining emotional composure and backing up your arguments with data rather than opinions.
Knowing how to debate effectively is an art, and like any art, it is possible to learn and improve. Let’s learn some useful techniques to apply in close relationships and others that are ideal for professional contexts, the purpose of which is to improve your interactions and help you achieve many of your goals.
What does it mean to win an argument?
Arguments are an inevitable part of our daily lives, whether it’s negotiating a raise at work, defending an idea at college, or resolving differences at home with our families. So, it’s crucial to master strategies for handling them. But before we dive in, let’s clarify what “winning” a dispute entails.
Simply put, winning an argument means knowing how to defend your arguments in a way that convinces the other person, even when you are not entirely right. This requires persuading with solid arguments, active listening , and also being flexible in order to reach an agreement that satisfies both parties.
How to win an argument intelligently?
Nicholas Capaldi is an expert in informal logic. In his book How to Win an Argument: The Art of Argument , he presents techniques to improve debating skills and persuasive communication in different settings. Let’s look at some of them.
1. Maintain emotional calm
A popular saying states that “he who gets angry loses.” According to this view, one of the most important psychological tricks to win an argument is to stay calm . Difficult? Maybe. Necessary? Also. Doing so allows you to think clearly and prevent emotions from clouding your judgment.
Imagine you and your partner are arguing about how to manage household finances. If you get angry and start yelling, she may not be willing to listen to your ideas or give in to hers. If you keep your composure, however, you can work together to find joint solutions.
2. Rely on data and facts, not opinions
Back up your ideas with verifiable data. Saying “I think we should change suppliers because I don’t like this one” is not the same as saying “I’ve reviewed the latest invoices and compared prices with three different suppliers. We could save 20% per month by switching to one of them.”
In the latter case, you would be providing a solid, objective basis for the other person to consider your change. It is one of the debate skills that can help you in any area of your life. While it is valid to mention your personal opinions, they should not be the sole basis of your argument.
3. Know your opponent and show empathy
Just like in marketing , where it is crucial to know your potential client in order to design an effective sales strategy, in a discussion it is also essential to know who you are facing.
This involves putting yourself in their shoes to understand what they feel, think or need. Gandhi , known for his ability to negotiate peacefully, stressed the importance of understanding the perspectives and concerns of others in order to achieve consensus.
4. Anticipate counterarguments
It is essential to avoid being taken by surprise by the other person’s responses. It is better to be prepared for them. On this point, Nicholas Capaldi stresses the importance of anticipating possible objections that the opponent may raise , and thus successfully handling the situation.
For example, imagine that Maria needs to ask her oldest son to accompany his brother to basketball practice. She knows that he will likely not want to do so and mention that he has homework to do. In that case, she could anticipate this argument and offer a solution, such as helping him with his homework in the afternoon.
5. Admit mistakes
It’s important to be firm in your convictions when you debate . But, it’s also key to be able to recognize when you’ve made a mistake . This is one of the most powerful psychological tricks to win any argument.
Although it may seem counterintuitive, admitting when you are wrong strengthens your credibility with the other person. Ultimately, your goal is to persuade and convince them of your point of view. Furthermore, by owning up to your mistakes, you demonstrate humility and openness.
Arthur Schopenhauer’s Strategies for Winning Any Argument
So far we have mentioned strategies that we can practice in any type of interaction: with our partner, our children or our friends. However, there are other ideas that are more closely linked to the political context or to the dispute of interests.
Arthur Schopenhauer , a renowned German philosopher of the 19th century, proposed in his writing The Art of Being Right: Exposed in 38 Stratagems a series of psychological tricks to win an argument or debate. Among his most relevant approaches are the following:
- Playing with the different meanings of words: this involves manipulating the meaning of words to change the direction of the discussion.
- Exaggerating one’s opponent’s claims: This involves amplifying what another person says to make it sound more extreme, irrational or absurd than it actually is.
- Asking broad questions, and lots of them: With this you bombard your opponent with lots of complex questions so that he accepts certain premises, even without realizing it.
- Provoking anger in the other person: This involves adopting a provocative tone to irritate the opponent so that he loses his cool and makes mistakes in his argument.
- Dwelling on a weak point: This is about focusing on the weak point of your speech, even if it is not the most important thing. Why? So that you feel obliged to defend yourself instead of advancing your best arguments.
- Using your opponent’s beliefs against them: This is taking advantage of the other person’s beliefs to show that their actions or arguments do not match what they say they believe. You can make it seem contradictory or inconsistent.
It is important to note that not all of these guidelines are considered ethical and moral in all contexts. For example, they might be more acceptable in a professional or political setting, where a certain amount of strategy and argumentative competence is expected, but not in an intimate and personal context, where honesty and mutual respect are more valued.
Apply these tactics starting today
Now that you know these tricks to win an argument, it’s time to put them into practice. Mastering the art of persuasion will allow you to improve your communication skills and resolve conflicts effectively.
By implementing these techniques in any setting where negotiation and debate are important, you will feel more confident and prepared to face any challenging interaction.