By In sport, as in life, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. To learn from this bitter experience, be self-critical with a cool head and don’t dwell on the past. Find out how to put these and other tips into practice!
One of the most important questions for athletes is how to deal with defeat. Although failure is something feared and avoided in the world of sports, the truth is that it is possible to overcome it and even learn from it.
It’s an experience that every athlete has faced, or will face, at some point in their career. For that reason, it’s a good idea to be prepared. Read on to discover the best practical tips.
1. Accept the reality of defeat
The first thing you can do to move forward after a setback is to accept reality so as not to suffer the effects of not knowing how to admit defeat . You have lost a game or a competition, and this cannot be changed. However, when you manage to take the step of accepting this fact, the door is opened to work on everything that this causes: emotions, thoughts, sensations and behaviors.
It may seem obvious, but not all athletes are able to deal with a bad experience . Many avoid coming into contact with the experience because it hurts them, without realizing that avoiding it only causes an increase in discomfort.
2. Give it a more positive interpretation
In many cases, defeat is experienced in such an aversive way, not because of the event itself, but because of the interpretation made of it. In general, a negative interpretation is given, as if it were something to be ashamed of or to avoid at all costs.
However, this is a mistake. Failures should be seen as normal, human. As the famous phrase goes: “to err is human.” In view of this, when it is acknowledged that it happened, reading should be like a lesson . Thanks to it, we can discover things about ourselves that we were previously unaware of, such as aspects that need improvement.
3. Manage negative emotions
Negative emotions arise around adverse competition . It is normal to feel sadness, anger or disappointment with oneself. Even so, it is necessary to regulate feelings to ensure well-being and optimal performance.
In this sense, a study by the University of Murcia indicates that the emotional component should be integrated into training due to its connection with the physical part and performance .
Furthermore, managing emotions due to poor results should be given the same importance in group and individual practices.
4. Don’t let your mind stay in the past
Ruminations about the past are common among athletes who find it difficult to accept a defeat. Despite wanting to escape from it, their life seems to stop around that moment. Let’s not lose sight of the fact that when you are anchored to the past, you cannot live in the present.
The now is the only moment in which there is room for manoeuvre. The past cannot be changed and the future does not yet exist. Living in the “ here and now ” is the best way to go if you really want to progress . Allow yourself to make peace with yourself and focus on what you experience day after day.
5. Recognize the effort made
A common mistake in sports is to only give importance to the result of a competition. We tend to reduce all the work done when we evaluate whether it is good or bad based on the success achieved.
Despite this, there are many other things that are not so obvious, but that still matter. All the effort and sacrifice deserve recognition, even if you did not get the reward you expected . Therefore, get into the habit of recognizing your worth and the hard work you have done. Even in the worst moments, it is possible to value the positive side.
6. Accept your share of responsibility
There are several factors involved in every defeat. To attribute it entirely to oneself or to external factors is not only incorrect, it is also unfair. Not all factors are equally involved. In view of this, it is advisable to make a cold-blooded analysis of everything that may have influenced the competition .
It is also advisable to count the number of factors and the weight of each one. The pie technique is useful. It consists of drawing a circle and dividing it into sectors as if it were a pie. Each sector represents a circumstance.
The interesting thing is that each part of the pie will be of different size depending on its degree of contribution to the result. The more relevant it is, the more space it will occupy in the circle . In the end, what is sought with this is to assume responsibilities in a more equitable and realistic way.
7. Self-criticize with a cool head
Learning a lesson from a setback is within everyone’s reach. To do this, the first thing you have to do is allow your head to cool down, so you can think clearly.
Once calm has been achieved, the next step is to do some self-criticism. The goal should not be to blame or punish ourselves for what we have done, but to set new goals for improvement in order to admit our own weaknesses .
Self-concept, the way we perceive ourselves, is related to the capacity for self-criticism, according to an article from the Cardenal Herrera University . Therefore, using self-criticism in a constructive way is synonymous with self-knowledge, maturity, esteem and humility.
8. Talk to someone who is willing to listen to you
Words have enormous therapeutic power. Few things are more liberating than expressing everything that one carries inside. For this reason, a highly recommended piece of advice when facing defeat is to talk about how one feels with someone close to one .
If you have someone nearby to vent your feelings to, take advantage of that resource. The important thing is that they listen to you, that they allow you to express yourself freely and that you feel that they care about the problem. On the other hand, you should avoid people who will respond with criticism, reproaches or telling you what to do.
9. Take the greats as a reference
Elite athletes have a lot to teach us. Not only on a technical or sporting level, but their experiences are life lessons that we can use to inspire us in the most necessary moments.
To reach the top, all the greats have had to win, but they have also learned to lose. Choose any of them as a reference and, if you examine their careers, you will see the number of defeats they have overcome.
After all, they are human like all of us, but their
strength in adversity is what makes them seem like they are from another planet.
10. Above all: don’t give up
Maybe after putting all your effort into something and it doesn’t come to fruition, you feel like you have to give up. Motivation is not at its highest point: negative emotions and pessimism lead to all kinds of defeatist thoughts .
However, keep in mind that a stumble is just one moment in your entire journey, which is much longer.
Even if you feel like quitting, try to change your focus and look at all you have gained during your time training. Remember the following statement: “ When you think about quitting, remember why you started.”
Don’t let frustration get the better of you and overcome the bumps in the road.
Sport would be difficult to understand if there were no defeats. In a competition, someone wins and someone loses, but this does not mean that they did badly or that it was a failure. It is the interpretation that comes from frustration that makes it so feared, but if you learn to manage it, you will see that there is no need to be afraid .
We hope that these tips have been useful to you in dealing with any defeat. Although not getting the result you expect is something that makes you feel bad, and even more so if you have worked hard; you can learn from everything bad, as long as you have an open mind.