By In everyday life, we label someone as a “narcissist” and another as “egocentric,” without being clear about the full meaning of both concepts. We spoke with Dr. Ana Isabel Sanz to clarify this issue.
The differences between narcissism and egocentrism do exist, but they are more noticeable to mental health professionals than to the general population. And this confusion contributes to further confusion around everyday questions: “Am I being selfish, should I think less about myself, does my partner lack empathy?”
Whether we do an exercise of introspection or an analysis of those close to us, identifying egocentric attitudes and distinguishing them from self-love is not as easy as it seems. And it is even less easy to draw the line that separates a way of thinking from an illness.
Egocentrism is a cognitive bias and narcissism is a personality disorder. To delve deeper into both, we interviewed Dr. Ana Isabel Sanz, psychiatrist and psychotherapist.
How to differentiate a self-centered person from a narcissist?
It is important to clarify that “egocentrism and narcissism are part of the same spectrum ,” says Sanz, director of the Ipsias Psychiatric Institute. Therefore, they represent expressions of a common way of seeing the world, which is based on the idea of being the center of everything.
The problem is that this view persists over time. Self-centered and narcissistic people have “personality patterns that are not very flexible ,” the specialist adds. They repeatedly, and on a daily basis, believe that others should be at their service and that others should organize their lives to meet their demands.
“In this spectrum, talking about egocentrism implies less rigidity,” explains Ana Isabel Sanz . “The egocentric person is capable of noticing the feelings of others and redirecting their behavior, but the narcissist is less inclined to change his behavior . “
An egocentric person has a greater capacity for empathy . He may reflect on his actions at times and notice the harm he inflicts on others.
On the contrary, narcissists do not easily perceive the needs of others . “Sometimes, even with problems of constant breakups, loss of jobs and friends, they are unable to modify their behaviour ,” says the psychiatrist.
According to the specialist’s experience, it is therefore difficult for a narcissist to ask for help . If he does go to a therapy session, it is common for him to ask what others do not see in him, rather than to ask whether he is doing something wrong.
How do I know if I am dealing with someone with narcissism or egocentrism?
The narcissist is manipulative. He will always look for something in return. On the other hand, the egocentric only aspires to be right, to impose his point of view.
Because of their manipulative nature, we can see signs of narcissism in the way they use other people’s emotions to exert control. For this reason, a narcissist may appear friendly and seductive at the beginning of a relationship.
The egocentric person , on the other hand, is less sophisticated . His behavior may seem immature and even childish. What we see of him is what he is: someone who only takes into account his perspectives, his opinions and his needs.
Are you born a narcissist?
There are many factors that come together to cause a personality disorder. At the same time, there are times and stages in life when an egocentric tendency is to be expected.
For example, in childhood. According to Piaget and his theory , a child under 8 years of age thinks in an egocentric way because that is how he interprets the world.
However, beyond the selfishness expected at an early age, “a parent can notice in a child of 3 or 4 years that there is an egocentric tendency ,” warns Ana Isabel Sanz. This could be part of a certain predisposition, genetic or biological , which would later facilitate the development of the narcissistic personality.
“It will depend on the parents, whether this tendency grows or not ,” says the psychiatrist. Because it is the early bonds, the relationships that are established with the figures of upbringing , that have the greatest influence. “Abuse, negligence in care or overprotection are elements that shape a narcissistic future ,” concludes Sanz.
Can a narcissist be functional in society?
Perhaps, in popular culture, Napoleon Bonaparte is the classic example of a famous narcissist. He is credited with obsessions with the constant desire for others to recognize his greatness and there are hundreds of stories that portray him as such.
In the United States, some studies have revealed that more than 7% of men and almost 5% of women could be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. So it is logical to wonder about the way in which these people live, work and interact in the social world.
For Dr. Sanz, director of the Department of Psychiatry at the Dionisia Plaza Rehabilitation Center in Madrid, “people with egocentric and narcissistic patterns thrive in society and are even successful .” At the same time, as the specialist clarifies, those who are close to them are very unhappy , because they suffer from the attitudes and actions without empathy that cause harm .
How does therapy help self-centered and narcissistic people?
It is valid to differentiate between egocentrism and narcissism, as well as egoism and healthy ego . “We all have an ego, ” says the specialist , “but it can be balanced or very large . “
If the ego is balanced, it will recognize the need to take care of itself and give itself affection, and then care for and empathize with others. On the contrary, an overly large ego leads to serious problems.
Clearly egocentric tendencies do require professional help. Once they are discovered, it is possible to contact specialists to work on them and redirect them.
“It’s not always necessary to have a long therapy ,” says Sanz. “It can be just counselling ,” he adds. A short consultation can be enough to change the direction of our relationships.
But in order to get help, we need to take the first step of stopping blaming the world for everything . Instead of asking ourselves what others are doing wrong, it is convenient to change the question to our own responsibilities.
However, it may not be us who need help, but a family member , partner or friend who has an egocentric or narcissistic personality. “We must not be too tolerant of their attitudes ,” says Ana Isabel Sanz. She adds: “It is very important that the victim also seeks advice . “
Different, but with common points
Narcissism can be a psychiatric diagnosis or a less severe disorder, but it always involves a grandiose self-image and a constant need for external validation. In fact, the worst thing you can tell a narcissist is that he or she is not special or that there are better people than him or her.
Egocentrism, on the other hand, is more a feature of psychological development. It can be considered a cognitive bias .
In either case, many people suffer from their attitudes . That is why professional support and therapy aimed at redirecting actions are important.
Of course, it is not easy, neither for the egocentric, nor for the narcissist, nor for those close to them. And it is even less so in a society characterized by the cult and exaltation of the ego . However, there are paths, methods and therapies available to achieve change.